For the beginning of this story, click HERE.
After prayer, and hugs, and encouragement everyone began to disperse–everyone except for "Sarah" (using a code-name).
When I thought everyone was finished with me, she came up and said that she would like to talk to me sometime.
Since there wasn’t anything really going on, I said that we can talk now, so we ended up taking a walk around the neighborhood.
Now, before I continue, a backstory to "Sarah":
Last Thursday, our ministry contact took us to hike and play in some awesome constructed/natural waterfalls an hour or two outside of town. It was beautiful! There were man-made water tunnels that connected to different constructed pools that the waterfalls would gush into.
I was with a group and we were the first in the water-tunnels and we all had no idea what we were doing, or where we were going—we just followed some native kids and did what they did.
It was just like Wet-n-Wild but with a jungle/El Salvadorian feel: the water’s fast current swiftly pushed you along in TOTAL darkness. As we went along for a few minutes we screamed and laughed, loving the adrenaline rush. Then, out of no where it seemed, there was a sharp right turn that you had to make in order to get safely to the next waterfall and to get out of the tunnel, if not then you would keep going down into the dark onto who knows where—and the little native kids instructed us that we do not go down that way.
We all knew this, but "Sarah" didn’t.
She ended up going into the tunnel, missed the turn and got swept all the way down into the very end of the dark tunnel, and somehow by the strength of the Lord alone, she was able to forge her tiny body against the strong current to safety. And through that the Lord taught her great and weighty things. When she puts a blog up, I would encourage yall to read it. It’s intense, it’s heartbreaking, it’s beautiful and it’ll probably paint a better picture than I ever could. I’ll put it HERE when it’s up.
So cut back to "Sarah" and I walking around the block…
She had begun to talk about what God taught her from that experience.
She continued talking about how money and things don’t matter. She told me when she was in the tunnel, it was solely the Lord that got her out. He knew she was going to be in that tunnel, and He gave her the strength and got her out.
She talked about His immense love,
Then the next thing that came out of her mouth made me hit the floor..
“I have the money. I have all that you need. Jesus wants me to give it to you, ever since the tunnel, I’ve been praying about who to give it to and during the prayer time He said it was you. It’s not me giving it to you, it’s all Him. It’s His money! He loves you so much Cheyanne, that’s why He’s telling me to give it to you. He’s been teaching me so much about His love and community. Out of the overflow of His love, He wants to provide for you. Take it. Take what you need.”
I don’t think I’ve ever cried so hard in sheer amazement.
I couldn’t stand. I could hardly breathe.
It made an impact on my life greater than ever before.
I had a debt that I 100% deserved!
I earned that debt.
I was bound to it.
I would need to pay the consequences of such, and end up working for my freedom.
God had a much different plan…
Because He loves me—like, REALLY REALLY loves me—in all my imperfections and weaknesses and quirks and mess ups—He paid for my $6500 debt, in FULL, no strings attached, and I didn’t do ANYTHING to earn or especially deserve it. He’s just so super uper intimately passionately pursuing MY heart, He wanted to do it for me. He wanted me to see just a glimpse of His love for me, and through that He knew that I'd come to the realization that I—that we—were solely CREATED to know His love.
That’s the dang Gospel.
THAT’S THE GOSPEL.
THAT’S WHAT THIS LIFE IS ALL ABOUT.
In our life, everything we’ve ever done—we deserve DEATH.
But the Giver of Life, the one who created the cosmos
and grasshoppers
and the smell of babies
and blue whales
and clovers
and the season of Fall—HE CREATED US TO KNOW HIM! Because in HIM is life itself! IN HIM ALONE is ALL joy, peace, strength, LOVE! LIFE.
Our sin binds us back from that.
More than that, WE hold ourselves back from that.
Jesus defeated sin once and for all on the cross! It is powerless over us, but it’s hard to officially and legitimately accept that. We hold ourselves back through our religiosity,
through our regulations and strict guidelines that choke us out,
through our rebellion and running away.
He’s singing over us, calling us into something so much greater than what the world has to ever offer. LIFE.
A life full of HIS LOVE.
A love that is for us, not against us.
A love that is boundless, limitless, unconditional, and eternal.
I get it now.
I finally freaking get it.
Something within me EXPLODED.
And finally for the first time in my life, I am not going to contain it.
I am no longer functioning on this Race as “I am going to spread the Gospel because the world needs it or else they’ll never know God and go to Hell”, but HE ALONE shifted my heart posture into “JESUS SAVED MY WRETCHED LIFE FROM DEATH AND HELL BECAUSE HE LOVES ME SO MUCH, LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH HE FREAKING LOVES YOU SO YOU CAN SHARE AND EXPERIENCE IT ALL WITH ME IN THIS BEAUTIFUL THING!!”
Haha..
It’s nuts.
I’m nuts.
Jesus is nuts.
What the freaking heck.
The beauty of it all is, is that I can never ever ever comprehend JUST HOW MUCH He loves me–ever, and I get to spend my entire life AND ALL OF ETERNITY getting to adventure and explore HIM!–getting to dive deeper and deeper in LOVE with Him. My heart is (OFFICIALLY FINALLY AND) ETERNALLY grateful.
If this is the only life that I get to live on earth, why not waste it ALL on the One who saved me out of His great great GREAT love and mighty incomprehensible grace??
Nothing can ever overtake me, for I am in His hands, He already defeated them all.
With Him, we are more than conquorers.
HE IS SO GOOD AND IS FOR US, IN ANY THING THAT WE COME TO FACE.
I pour out my LIFE on His feet! I deem everything else a loss, I have only HIM to gain!
I am free to run around and delight in Him with a child-like skip in my step!
For the first time ever, I feel as though I am legitmately saying those things out of true thankfulness and sheer delight.
I am no longer a captive of death.
