as written in on a random piece of paper:
already, i wish i had thought
to check for World Race Cliffnotes, also known as racer blogs, before arriving.
01. there are way too many sets of people with the same name. if i'm smiling at you today, it's because i thought you were someone else. which is bothersome to me, since i am usually inept in the names and faces department. in this case, facebook may have been good for something.
02. journaling is kind of serious topic. i kind of thought it was a suggestion, like for the people who enjoy writing about their feelings as opposed to sleeping it off. it's actually a little more like "oh look, it's journal o'clock". i guess i will buy a journal. and intentionally use it. at least, i brought a pen.
03. want to know what i am doing during worship? i get that God needs my heart. that, i know and understand. but i have never heard 75% of the songs! so yes, i am reading the words off of the screen and memorizing as i go along. i'm too embarrassed to stop and take note of this so tomorrow, having forgot all the hard work i just put in to join in on the chorus, i will be forced to do it again. or mouth "watermelon" if the people around me start to notice.
04. unfortunately for me, every insect out here wants to introduce itself to me. last night, i was visited by a centipede-type thing in my tent. it had a black body and yellow legs. was it poisonous? i don't know! it takes to much energy to dodge something like that than to analyze the risk factors. i should have paid more attention in Ketchum's entomology class. no matter what anyone else says, i truly felt like i was in mortal danger. i hope i am able to get bug guts off this tent that i plan on returning! …
i could go on.
but i need to cut myself off.
moments that beg the question "should i have known this?" just keep popping up.
again, i find myself not taking preparation as seriously anyone asks of me.
let alone, God.
when will i learn?
Lord, Your Grace is what i need.
faster than as soon as possible.
i should have asked for it first thing.
probably a week ago.
for you, My darling, anything!
