Part 3: instrument of God
His name is Peter. He is a vibrant, kind 22 year-old Cambodian who loves Jesus, shenanigans, and cooking. A dreamer, his desire is to one day own a restaurant that brings glory to God and food to the hungry. Gifted in his abilities, gentle with his words, moldable in his love for Jesus, Peter was an instrument used by God to teach me much.
All month, he and his brother blessed us by cooking our meals. Near the end of the month, we were stationed at the outlying village of Kampot–building a tree house at a church and running kid’s programs for the village youth. Peculiarly, I asked Peter if I could help him cook a dinner. (I say peculiarly, because I have no idea why I asked to help. Cooking is something I attempt to avoid due to my aforementioned fear of failure. Oh, I just love it when the Lord intervenes like that.)
My Cambodian cooking lesson began well. I apologized in advance for all the mistakes I was sure to make, overly cautioned him about my lack of abilities, and dulled the sensation of fear by creating the mantra “It’s a simple meal. It’s a simple meal. It’s a simple meal.” Twenty seconds later, holding a knife in one hand and a cucumber in the other, I froze.
The fear was crippling. I realized I was trapped. I knew there was no way to fake proficiency. I stood there, frozen, vainly attempting to create a reasonable excuse to flee. But, before I could, Peter was purposefully explaining what he wanted done and how he wanted it done. It seemed clear and simple enough; I decided to attempt.
Cutting a cucumber is not difficult. Well, it is not difficult unless you have an exorbitant fear of failure. To me, cutting the cucumbers was the most trying task of the day. And, it did not end there. There were potatoes, carrots, meat, and garlic. There were spices to add. There was sauce to mix. There was a teacher to impress. There was a standard to meet. Oh, wait…those last two were not real. But, I was acting as if they were.
That simple cooking lesson became a place where I met God.
Part 4: lessons
+ Peter clearly and concisely gave me instructions. There was no ambiguity. There were no hidden criteria
The Lord clearly and concisely reveals how we should live. “Remain in me, and I will remain in you.” (John 15:4) “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” (Matthew 22:37-38a)
+ Peter did not withhold the truth from me. When I was making mistakes, he would gently and resolutely inform me of them (“You are not cutting the meat even enough.” “You need to hold the knife differently.” “Stop, Let me show you.”), reassuring me immediately afterwards that it was okay, for he recognized I was learning.
The Lord is Truth. He, Holy Spirit, abides in us and acts as Counselor and Guide. He convicts us of wrongdoing and reminds us of His love. He is present on our journey towards holiness. He gently and resolutely corrects and admonishes us with all wisdom as we are molded into His image.
+ Peter would not allow me to retreat. He pressed me to continue, even when I was distraught from a mistake. He did not rashly respond in the midst of a tense situation. (i.e. cutting my finger while slicing pork.)
The Lord urges us onward. He forgives and encourages, comforts and challenges every time we stumble. He is not reactionary. He is grace and mercy.
+ Peter unabashedly acknowledged my current abilities. Yet, he did not limit me to that place. He asserted where I am headed (if I continue to practice cooking).
The Lord calls us upward and onward. He sees us for who we are, but He also sees us for who we were created to be. He declares our future, our transformation. He ordains our steps.
Part 5: truth
Since the unveiling, the Lord has been graciously teaching me to live in freedom of the truth. And the lessons I am learning are these:
The truth is I am a beloved daughter of God.
The truth is I am not perfect.
The truth is He forgives.
The truth is my worth is defined by who He says I am and not by what I do.
The truth is I am precious and valued in His sight.
The truth is I must not live by the standards of others.
The truth is I must not live by my own standards.
The truth is return on investment is not what life and relationships are about.
The truth is I am free from the bondage of fear of failure.
To catch the beginning of the story read [Part 1]
