Fear. Anxiety. Worry. These are all very similar things. Each I have struggled with in the past, and at times even today. So why? Paul tells us, do not be anxious about anything. But in everything, by prayer and petition, to present our requests to God (Philippians 4). We are to not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself (Matthew 11). I am sinning, each time I allow fear and anxiety to rule over my faith in Christ.
During this month in Peru, two words have been continually appearing in my life: authority and boldness. It’s funny how the Lord can give you wisdom and you still doubt it. Or He gives you wisdom, and then it kind of freaks you out.
Allow me to elaborate. The Lord has really been teaching me about spiritual gifts (Read 1 Corinthians 12 if you want to learn more). One the Holy Spirit has given me: discernment. The first time I identified it was in 2009, when I traveled with Adventures in Missions (World Race’s mother organization) to the Amazon Jungle of Peru. Actually, if I’m honest I did not identify it first, my leaders did. At first I kind of laughed because I had never sensed the gift of discernment. If anything, I felt like I always am praying for it because I “didn’t have it”. But now, I am reminded daily by my teammate Melissa, “if you ask for something, the Lord will almost always give it to you”. “Ask and you shall receive”?
So why am I once again surprised, when the Lord is giving me discernment?
Without going into a super long story, I will try to give you the cliff notes version. It’s the summer of 2009; I’m in the middle of the jungle in the small town of Herrera. After a night of incredible healing over a man my team encountered and prayed over, a teammate, and myself identified discernment. But it still wasn’t real clear. All I knew was, we could physically smell something. It turned our stomachs, and not everyone noticed the smell. We realized we had smelled this very specific smell in a previous jungle city. Jump ahead to a few villages later, the smell is everywhere. I found myself afraid. “Is this from Satan? Is this from God? Why are a few of us smelling this? Am I going crazy? Am I making this smell up? When will it stop?” After much wrestling with the Lord, I received so much peace about it. True, I didn’t like smelling this smell. It brought back memories from some difficult times and encounters on the trip. But after encouragement from my leader, and the Lord, I realized I was given discernment. More specifically discernment of the spiritual realm. WOAH! Trust me, I never imagined being so sensitive to things like this. Some of you may even be skeptical. I was almost skeptical of myself. But now I want to share about my second trip to Peru.
Jump ahead now to a few weeks ago, when we arrived to Trujillo, Peru. As our bus took us from the bus terminal to Savage Ministries, that potent smell blew into my face through the open window. I had been praying about this since our debrief in Banos. I was sensing spiritual darkness even there, and the Lord was laying it on my heart to start praying for the city of Trujillo. That it was a very dark place in need of light. I honestly didn’t know or want to expect the “smell” to come back to me. But as soon as it hit my nose, there was no denying it. I found myself doing exactly what I did when I was in the jungle. I would look around. Is there something burning? I almost caught myself believing I was making it up again. But my heart just stopped, and all I could do was pray. This happened multiple times this month. There were even moments inside the compound when a breeze would flow overhead. But something is different this time. I am not nearly as fearful. Every week (this month), there has been at least (usually more) one person who has said, the Lord has given you authority and boldness.
A few short days ago, I was suddenly struck with sickness. I found myself becoming more and more upset. My thoughts immediately went to, “we have to travel in less than 4 days. I cannot be sick.” After praying with several of my sisters, I prayed with authority over myself. I went to bed, I recited/read through Ephesians 6:10-20.
By morning, I was no longer sick. Praise the Lord! Today, we begin our trek to Bolivia. My team will be in Mapiri. (It wasn’t on our map, if that tells you anything.) We will be in a tropical area, which leads me to believe we will be in the jungle. The jungle…where I’ve already seen spiritual darkness. Five years ago, I probably would have been slightly fearful. But after this month, I’m choosing authority and boldness in the Lord. Even if that means I am constantly praying to the Lord for it. Our team name, if you’re not aware, is Awakened Warriors. That totally came from the Holy Spirit, and is so appropriate for us. Pray this month, for us to continue to grow as the mighty awakened warriors, which he has made us.
UP NEXT: BOLIVIA This will probably be the last blog for at least a month, as we will be located in a more remote area. We will possibly have to take a boat at some point to get to our ministry site. We leave tonight, and will arrive in La Paz (Bolivia’s capital) on Monday night. Then the squad will separate towards our individual ministry sites on Tuesday morning. Not sure how long of a bus/boat ride that will be. But as we put on the whole armor of God, we will be ready for anything!
Much love to you all
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