This doesn’t fit.
I struggle with finding my identity in other people.
Whether that is in friends, my family, or a man.
That is why it took so long for me to believe that I was beautiful.
My past has not given me the correct identity,
I walked In a false identity for a freaking long time.
This past summer was the tipping point.
70% of my dear friends got married.
They are all my age or year or two older.
This caused a huge struggle internally.
Why wasn’t I in a serious relationship?
Why did every relationship I gave myself to fall into the pits?
I’m not as pretty as my friends.
I’m not spiritual enough.
I don’t love Jesus enough.
I’ll never be pursued by a godly man.
I’m not good enough for that.
My heart is not beautiful enough to be served and protected.
Satan blew my heart and mind up.
I was questioning every part of myself.
It took me forever to hear Jesus in that mess.
But his order took over.
There is no comparison in my name, Chelsea.
Your heart is mine, and it is beautiful.
I’m the perfect pursuer and I pursue you every day.
You are mine, and that makes you worth it.
You are meant to be protected, honored and served.
Don’t settle.
You are mine, you are mine, you are mine.
You are mine, and you are extremely, extravagantly, intimately beautiful.
Last month in Haiti God secured my identity in Him.
I finally believed everything he was telling me.
I finally understood my own self, and what I was meant for, and what he wanted for me.
This month Satan is trying to make me try on my old struggles.
Like and old favorite shirt that got shrunk in the wash.
You try to put it on, and you want to like it, you want to accept it,
but it doesn’t fit, it’s not yours anymore.
Your mom might have even thrown it away.
My heart no longer lusts after marriage.
It desires it for the future but I don’t idolize it anymore.
I no longer seek to find my acceptance and beauty in a man.
My beauty and worth is found in Jesus.
I no longer run after every potential relationship.
I control my emotions, and act prayerfully according to the situation.
I no longer throw my heart at every potential man.
That’s sucker is LOCKED in a vault and Jesus has that key hidden.
My identity is no longer in how I dress or look.
I’m God’s end of story.
We like to try on our old sins because they’re comfortable.
But they don’t fit anymore.
They died when Jesus rose from the dead.
We are longer under slavery, I need to stop acting like it.
Therefore, brethren, having boldness to enter the Holiest by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way which He consecrated for us, through the veil, that is, His flesh, and having a High Priest over the house of God, let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful.
-Hebrews 10:19-23
