1. Your pickup lines change.
Coming back to America has been a lot harder than I expected. However, I found my humor has a cheesy resilience that has mutated into something that even amazes myself. There have been times when I actually catch myself wanting to say variants of the following:
“Hey baby. Don’t let the bus pass fool you. My treasure is in heaven.”
“…and I believe that “buy one get one free Whopper” coupon comes WITH fries.”
“Why yes… as a matter of fact, I HAVE played with African orphans…”
“You think that waiter will get ticked if I jack those fries that lady left on her plate?”
(Sidenote: maybe there’s a reason why I am single….)
2. You find yourself bragging about stuff you never imagined.
On my resume, under “special skills”, I have considered jotting down the following:
“Preaching sermons at moment’s notice”
“Freestyle rapper”
“Not realizing clothes stink until it’s too late”
“Will eat anything if you sweetly tell me that you spent all day making it”
“Can hold live chicken while being sandwiched on bus overcrowded with people who do not wear deodorant”
and “Expert ignorer of street vendors”.
3. You just can’t look at some things the same way.
These are, but not limited to:
A box of kittens (you don’t want to know)
Placing your palm on top of your opposite fist (Obscene gesture in Malaysia).
Insanity Workouts
Screaming babies in American toy stores
The “I can take off my thumb” gesture (Obscene gesture in Guatemala)
4. You believe there are some questions that are dangerous.
Such as:
“Where did your puppy really go?”
“How long really is this bus ride?”
“What time are we REALLY leaving?”
“How many cows are you offering me for marriage?”
“How long is this sermon supposed to be?”
May the changes in your life be for a season.
May the lessons in your life be ones you only have to learn once.
And may God change your life with perspective in order to show His presence at all times.
