Press in!
 
These words have been etched on my heart since training camp. I was told that this Race would not be easy. I was told that this Race would bring out the dysfunction of my soul. When this happens, everything in your heart tells you to run, tells you to hide your quirkiness, your wounds and insecurities. But the Race has taught me that's not the way you have a relationship with God. The real way you thrive is you take your junk to God and
Press in!
 
The other day I was talking with a world traveller about his heavily tattooed arms. We swapped stories of whose ink hurt more. We talked about nothing for hours: talked about his daughter, talked about his ex-wife, talked about his travels. We talked about my travels, about my family, and we talked briefly about God. Never have I met a man who was so hungry for something, but so attached to his pain. I felt like I was talking into a human mirror.

This morning we had a man tell us his testimony. How he came from worshipping Satan, talking with demons and using prophecy for evil to now worshipping Jesus, having leadership in YWAM, and is now a prophet for the kingdom. After his presentation, he prayed over us, and listened to the Spirit. He spoke a few words over my teammates, followed by their tears flowing onto the dirty blue carpet. I knew that we were in the presence of God; That God was doing something powerful. His eyes rested on me, and my heart began to explode over and over in my chest. He said, "God knows you like attention. That's because a long time ago, you got wounded. You got wounded and you've been struggling with feeling alone. God sees that. Now, let Him heal it." He then "read my mail" and began to tell me super personal things about my life, thoughts that I've only uttered to myself, and things about my family. I did not know what to say… only that I couldn't pretend anymore. My breath began to get belabored, and I wanted to run. But instead, I rested and let my soul


Press in!

I left the room feeling lighter, like the judgement I've held quietly on the world had been lifted. I have been praying for God to fill the vacant parts once filled with anger with the Holy Spirit. I've been praying for God to fill my heart with sonship, that my heart doesn't run to wounds, but to His Spirit.

My peace will no longer be in my pain. It will be by His Spirit, His healing, His time, His life, and His resurrection.

When the Holy Spirit rips out the pain in your life, to cleanse your soul, will you run, or will you

Press in?