When I entered Africa, I was told to pray dangerously. I was told that prayer is the most powerful weapon the Lord has given us, and that if we use it, the world will change.
Dealing with poverty in Central America, I had found myself going "numb" to get the "job" done. It was necessary, but really stinted the growth of my heart.
Before Africa I prayed, "God, let the pain hit me. I don't want to be numb. I just want to feel what you feel…"
Here in Thailand, I still feel the aftershocks of that prayer.
Went to see a Hill tribe village yesterday. There were families of five or six, living in small wooden huts up in remote places in Chiang Mai. Each had a fire pit, and very little room for the entire family. They welcomed us in, and gave us some of the little food they had. Shocked by their hospitality, I ate, and listened to their stories of Thailand. It was a sacred time.
Upon leaving, poverty began wrecking me just as bad as it did when I started this journey. Then, someone in the car said, not really meaning it, "Man… at least it's not as bad as Africa…"
And I lost it…
By blood boiled inside of me and my mind screamed, "ARE WE GOING TO PLAY THE 'WHO'S LIFE SUCKS MORE GAME?' Because right now, I don't care who you are, NO one deserves to live like that. We have it pretty dang good. We get to go see poverty and then we get to go home to a couch, live out of a backpack and (endless lists of blessings) in a lovely house, with lovely people in a lovely community. You know what they have…"
And that's where I stopped…
They had a family, each other, and God….
I think I got ticked off was because poverty happens, and sometimes I feel so hopeless in terms of "making things right".
The kid in me wants justice. The kid in me wants to take all I have and give to those who need it more than me. The kid in me believes God will do what's right…
By "unnumbing" me, I think God finally is showing me that I don't have to be entirely a ratioinal adult nor a naive kid. Rather, when I think with the wisdom of an adult, dream and believe like a child, and trust like God is my Father, I don't have to be numb…
I just have to trust.
