The inside is yelling out for more,
this is not me,
a 9-5 job,
day in and day out,
trying to make it work.
I am called for more.
I am fighting this fight, and feeling stuck. What’s next? Am I just in a waiting period? or do I need to make the step?
My mind distracted, my heart knowing I need more, but more of what?
I tell the Lord ” take all of me”, yet hold back scared, I know God will provide, I have seen it before, it just takes the first step……
right?
I am ready to Go! I am ready to give up! My passion is God, He is really the one who gives me full satisfaction and joy! I know it is true I will find my life once I give it up.
I have found it before, I know I have, but sometimes, I feel stuck, stuck in a down low. Life is a journey of seeking, of finding, of knocking, of listening to what it means to be God disciple, what it truly means. I am not sure there is one answer but I do know if I seek, If I study, If I meditate, God will show up and make his plan known.
I know that its not God fitting into my life, but God showing me how I fit into His.
I am trying to enjoy the present, and not overlooking the beauty of where I am right now.
Maybe the present is where I am suppose to be, not worrying about tomorrow because today has enough troubles of its own.
Maybe, just maybe it is about this journey, of about asking God questions, learning His voice, acting in obedience, running in perseverance, falling on our knees in prayer, weeping to Abba for more, grieving for this world which is consumed, crying out for direction, asking God to show us where He is right now, and to give us His eyes.
Maybe it is about figuring out how to build our house on solid ground on a daily basis, and digging our roots deep. We need to pick up our cross daily and try to figure out what that means?
Finding our passion, our gift, of serving, teaching, encouraging, loving and running with it. Running as God leads.
Jesus says “Follow me”
And we reply ” Teacher I will follow you, wherever you go”
