Fool for God

BEING THE FOOL

I could
start off with every detail of camp but I will not fill you in on the whole
week but I want to share with you my heart, what God has spoken to me, and how
he is preparing me. 

We spent the
10 days doing many activities which helped us go deeper with God, stretched us,
built up new friendships, teammates and getting to know everyone (there are 120
people leaving, but 2 teams of 60 and then divided into groups of 7). I came
here thinking I had it all together; thinking I am good I can empower people
and bring the love of God to the nations. Quickly 2 days in, God said, I am not
done. I crying asking God for forgiveness because I thought I was close, close
to the top of the “good” meter, but we can always work on better
glorifying God. God began to break my heart. I do not doubt at all what God has
done already and know that I am a changed person. I believe in all my heart, I
am different from who I was a few years, I look different; I act different and
think different. God showed me that yes he has changed my heart however he
wants to keep giving me new ones, so I can more and more glorify him and shine
like Jesus, even brighter.

I
surrendered my expectations for what I think this trip may look like, whether
through community, ministry, or the countries and for me personally. I want my
yes to be yes to Jesus before he even asks. I was shown was scared, scared
to bold because I am afraid of rejection.  The rejection I put upon myself
and what I assume others think. God Spoke clearly declaring,
I DO NOT REJECT YOU; I WILL GIVE YOU A BOLDNESS LIKE NEVER BEFORE.
I need to heard, heard in a way that says look at my heart, my passion, our
Lord. I have a lot offer, to bring and declare God has used me and will
continue to use me.
God has given me a bubbling in my spirit for years, of passion, of hearing his
voice and seeing Jesus in others, it is normal. When God speaks, life
happens.  I have watched a group of 120, change, embrace and glow more and
more in love with the Saviour of our lives. I believe when I first came here,
many hearts were closed, scared, worship was silent but as I watched God move
in everyone including me, Gods aroma became more present.  One night we
invited Gods presence to be known in the room, we began dancing,dancing like
David danced for the Lord. I went and closed my eyes and let God
come. I danced, danced like never before with a boldness and braveness, I have
craved. I remember many times when I was younger dancing in my room alone, for
God. But this time I let it all out, I felt free, not embarrassed and not
thinking about anyone else in the room but God and I.  A smile came across
my face so big, it stated hurting me but it was so good, I did not want to stop,
all I could do was laugh and be joyful.  A few people said to me, I never
knew you could dance so good, you empowered me. My response was It was God.

I am so
excited for going, going for God. I am passionate about bringing Gods love, so
it overflows in others, bringing hope that can be grasped and embracing
everything that comes in the next year, willing to be a fool, saying yes before
I even know.

God is doing
so much in my heart, my teammate and both squads. I know I did not share every
detail but I want to leave you with this