Looking back into my high school days I remember searching for love. I just wanted to be accepted by my peers, but especially guys. At the same time I was terrified to date or even think of eventually getting married because I never wanted to end up with someone like my dad. My solution was to hang out with as many guys as I could to have their attention, but never let them to close.
Jump forward a few months before my interview for the race.
I was tired of being single I guess I finally felt ready to be in a relationship, so I thought I would give online dating a try (I really don’t know why I thought this a good idea). I did meet a guy who seemed really great and thought ‘maybe one day’, but God had other plans. Around that same time I applied for the world race and was told that I had an interview. During my interview I was informed that the race has a policy that does not allow racers to start relationship during their race. I knew that I was called to race, so I stopped talking to the guy I had been talking to.
These past couple months God and me have been talking a lot about marriage. I have realized that I was scared to choose the person that I would spend the rest of my life with. I was positive that I was going to choose someone like my dad. I now understand that I have to trust myself. I know that God is always there and will guide me, but he is also a God of choices. These last couple months I have had the privilege of having three amazing men on my team. I was talking to one of them about this and he reminded that on the race I have found a lot of freedom and gone through a lot of growth. He gave me assurance that I really am able to make that decision when the time comes. I have come to the conclusion that I have a lot of dreams that I want to achieve. So no matter if I get married next year, 5 years from now or never, I am ok with that. I am ok with that because the most important relationship is God’s and mine.
