Today I went to go see the new Cinderella with my Mom and sister. It was beautifully done and I would suggest you watch it yourself. I am going to use the movie as a motivation to write a blog about my thoughts of and hopes for marriage. I have fearfully stayed away from this topic, because it can be a discussion which requires uncomfortable vulnerability. But I hope my vulnerability can become a source of encouragement.
From the moment I encountered the Lord in a “real” way, when I was 14, nearly 10 years ago my views on marriage have been changed! When I entered into a love relationship with the Lord I was surprisingly and completely satisfied. He filled me with overflowing love, acceptance, joy and purpose.
It was simultaneous with that delight in entering into a love relationship with Jesus, that I forewent dating. I know the Lord, my friends and my Christian community had great influence on my thoughts and choices. But at that time, I made a few decisions. I decided not to date in high school and I desired to ONLY date if I knew I was going to marry the man. I know that may sound absurd, but I know God speaks to me about small things and I have to believe he will be faithful to speak to me and to my husband loud and clear about such a big thing.
It has been ten years since I made that promise with the Lord and have been praying for my husband ever since. I have grown and I have changed. Thus my desires for a husband have become a lot more specific and a lot more numerous. And at times, that is extremely terrifying to me. I do sometimes wonder if my standards and expectations are too high. But I do not plan to “settle”. I would prefer celibacy before lowering my standards.
When I was a freshmen in college I wrote about the destructive effects of Disney Princess movies on females. We could all think of ways they could bring sorrow and disappointment to women as they enter into a relationship with a man. But if I am being honest, I think I disagree with the point of my freshman paper.
I think we owe Disney a thank-you for teaching women to have high standards because we are too are princesses and have a lot in common with them.
We are daughters to the King.
We have been adopted into a new family.
We are beauties to be known and pursued.
We are kind, courageous, smart, adventurous, hard-working and humble.
We desire to be loved and to be protected.
And we want a man who could be mistaken as a prince.
We long for a man who is chivalrous, respectable and responsible.
We desire a man who is intelligent, thoughtful and aware.
We long for a man who is confident and willing to fight for justice.
We desire a man who is stable yet submitted to the Lord.
We long for a man to be hard-working, encouraging and friendly.
And if my relationship with my husband is suppose to mirror my relationship with the Lord, then my standards, as are his standards, above our imaginations. We were created with precise purpose and intentionality to compliment each other with our personalities, our giftings and our passions to serve our God. We were made to be fully us and fully known and fully loved.
I don’t know about you single friends, but I am believing and waiting for that.
And married friends, I hope this can be an encouragement to continue loving, growing with and pursuing one another. Your marriage is a picture of God’s relationship with the Lord; and He never stops chasing and desiring us! And his grace never runs out! Amen!
