This past month in Bulgaria we have been serving with two churches in two villages about 45 minutes from Sliven. We have helped lead worship and share testimonies and other things with the church. My team, Awakened Ezekiel’s, learned and did the Everything skit by Lifehouse. I was the main girl for the skit. Our squad leaders were with us while we were practicing. The skit has Jesus giving the main girl a flower, a piece of fruit and making her a bird. My teammate, Josh, was playing Jesus. While he was creating these things, one of my squad leaders with such enthusiasm said something along the lines of “she loves those things, he knows your heart.” I do love flowers, I do love fruit and my team is calls me a nickname my dad gave me 'Chaneybird'.
God has definitely been teaching me this a lot this month and chasing after my heart. In many ways, He has been doing this through our contact, Ivan. He is a sweet man around the age of 60 and speaks little English. We have been helping do some construction on the church. It was frustrating for most of us because we struggled being able to do anything for the first couple of days. Whenever we would try to do something, he would not let us.
For a few days, we were working on painting his office. I worked with him and he would say to me, “you, my team” and I would say “yes”. I would try to paint and he would say, “I paint, you watch me”. I felt very defeated yet I also felt other emotions. During this time I could hear team members playing a guitar and singing joyfully. It made me feel as if we were all God’s children in His house. God did not make us to be workers, but children. Ivan reflected the Father’s heart so perfectly. Ivan did not want us to work, but only to watch him and to be with him. And he was very happy for the music. At times he would tell one of my teammate during work to just sing. Another phrase he would often say was, “I am happy that you next to me”.
This very scenario is a picture of what God has been trying to teach me for such a long time. I often put myself into a role of “Cinderella” trying to earn His attention, affection and pleasure. Pastor Ivan and other aspects of Bulgaria continued to be an image of God’s heart as a Father to me this past month.
I received more flowers this month than any other in my life. Ivan loved to bring them to us girls, his daughters as he would call us. He also loved to give us ice cream all the time. In addition the past few days he has taken my hand when I have chosen to walk with him. And whenever he had the chance he would buy our food or invite us over to feed us.
One afternoon he took us to see beautiful waterfalls, trees and mountains. And God knows I love all of those. God also knows I love fruit and there were so many this month. We had cherries and strawberries all the time.
This month has been a beautiful time of Jesus pursuing my heart and freeing me to be loved just because I am his daughter. If Ivan could want to care for us, bring us things, take our hand, give us kisses this much, I cannot imagine how much more God wants to do for us.
