It was about exactly one week after arriving in Honduras that I became very sad at the contrast of rich and poor that I was seeing. Our first day off last week, we spent the day in a mall, eating at TGIF’s after taking my second freezing cold shower of the week. As I skipped my way to the bathroom after splitting a 9 dollar meal consisting of soup, salad and dessert with a teammate I noticed four individuals dressed nicely sitting at lunch. I was immediately struck and saddened. I had spent the week walking on dirty streets, riding crowded buses, sorting through torn clothes and filthy toys to give away to children that do not have many, and holding and playing with children who were living in a home away from their families because they had been raped or impregnated by incest.
I was reminded of two testimonies of two teenage boys from church our third day in Honduras. They were two boys living with our contact, Toni, at Zion’s Gate, who previously living with Tony were living on the streets, digging through trash with drugs all around them. They shared their story and expressed their gratitude of the life they have been given and both said “I would not change it for anything”. This broke my heart; I look at my own privileged, extravagant life and still wish I had some things different.
A few days after the incident at TGIF’s while brushing my teeth with the purified water in my water bottle I thought forward to next December when I will be back in the states and can use water from the sink. I thought about how I will be able to take a warm shower and be clean and sleep in a bed and eat on more than 4 dollars a day….This is an internal struggle for me currently ending week 2 on the race, but rejoice in how God is changing my heart! I do not want to see “American life” as comfortable. I have heard and can testify seeing this as true that World Racer’s tend to buy North American food when it is seen because it is a comfort thing even if they are not hungry or do not even eat that type of food in the States. I do not want my comfort to be in food, warm water or a soft bed that is not on rocks that pierce my back while I sleep. I want my comfort to solely be in loving Jesus and being found in His embrace, in His path, in His plan.
As we were reminded in our second church service we are called to drop our nets (our job, our family, our security, our “call”) and to follow Jesus (Matthew 3:18-20). And I want to follow Him with joy, never looking back. I am encouraged by Paul’s writing in Philippians 3:7-9, “Yet whatever gains I had, these I have come to regard as loss because of Christ. More than that, I regard everything as loss because of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and I regard them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that come from the law, but one that comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God based on faith.”
One of our squad leaders was telling us this week to be cautious when saying “I need…” statements on the World Race, because what we think we need, we really don’t. The crappy paint we used to paint for hours is not a necessity. It’s actually a luxury to be able to paint the rabbit cage we have been working on all week. Having ketchup or cheese on a burger is not a necessity, though many squad mates and I wanted them. I do not want to rely on these things either, because they only leave us feeling as if we are not getting what we deserve. We do not deserve anything, however I want to respond in thankfulness for all that I have been given.
Some pictures are on facebook, the internet is real slow, so it is tough to upload on my blog!
Thank you for your support and prayers! I still need $2,200 to be fully funded!!!
