“Hasta La Vista Baby,” was my last thought as I shut the car door and waved goodbye to my mom and sister. I was 17 years old, away from home, and on my own.
Four years later I graduated with my BFA, moved directly pass go, collected my $200, and headed to California, again on my own.
Over the past ten years I have been home only to visit, and now on the World Race, the last thing I expected to be is sick. But lo and behold, I am utterly HOMESICK times 9 to the 10th power!!!!!!!
I’m in Costa Rica, one of the most beautiful, color, and breathtaking places to be, but for the first few weeks I found myself moping around longing to hold my nephews and chase my niece around the room chanting her favorite quote “feed me mo’!”
I’m sick for home like a missionary in Africa without Malaria meds. I am heart wrenchingly, soul searchingly homesick. And baffled as to why…until God begin to reveal the problem and solution: dependence on Him.
You see at home, I am able to turn to my own devices whenever I’m feeling a certain way. If I’m sad I’ll call Chantille, my eldest sister for encouragement. If I’m bored I’ll hit up my plethora of friends for excitement. If I’m worried I’ll call my mom for calm. If I’m needing to unwind I’ll pull up Netflix and zone out for several hours. If I’m in need of advice I’ll cry on my roommate’s shoulder for hours, and if she’s at work then I have my baby sister to pound the matter out with…a device and coping mechanism for each and ever need in my life.
Now I am here. In Costa Rica. With people I really don’t know. No reliable internet access. No cellular phone. No push of a button access to the ones I have heavily relied on the most. No television set to zone out with. No NBA games to hype me up. No coffee shops to frivolously spend hours in. No comfort foods to make me feel good. No nothing.
But God.
Now I see just how much I have not relied on Him in my day-to-day life. Now I see just how much I chose not to need Him. Now I see what God is possible attempting to do.
Build my trust in Him. Secure me solely in Him.
I am nervous about this time in my life and the process that He will take me through to ensure a dependence upon Him. I am afraid to depart from my security blankets. I’m more nervous about this than the time I had to sing a solo in front of my entire school. But Word on the street is that God is dependable, reliable, and worthy of totally trust. So here we go…month 1 on the World Race…goodbye home…goodbye fears…hello Costa Rica…hello freedom.
