"Leutineant, make sure these girls have no weapons, celluar devices, or metal of any kind," said the officer, as my sister and I were patted down and escorted through the impenetrable metal doors. "I hope you're not scared because the inmates can smell fear!" the Leutineant laughingly said as I reluctantly walked down the halls of the maximum security prison. The Gangstas, child molesters, addicts, and killers. The thickness of the air, the smell, there yells, all overwhelmed me. Why in the world did I agree to come on this jail tour?
My mother, the Leutineant, walked my sister and I from cell to cell and the more I saw, the more my heart broke. It was like a human zoo! Men stacked on each other, slinging fecies, and using swears a sailor has never heard, toward one another. The madness, the caos, the inhumanity of their behavior. I could not believe that this is what happens in jails and prisons everyday. Jesus wants us to come and visit Him here?? Oh heck no!!!! "Chanell, I can see the fear all over your face…why are you so afraid? These inmates won't do a thing to you because I'm right here." I looked up at my mother, put on my tough face and responded, "mom, I'm not afraid."
HA…yeah right!!! I was scared poopless. I could not wait for this tour to be over so that I could get back to reality and civilization. 2 hours and a few shake downs later, the jail tour was over, and my mother walked us out the front door. "Thanks for coming to work with me today. You girls finally get to see what I deal with everyday." Oh how my eyes wanted to well up with tears, but I was still playing tough so I had to be cool. "Mom, we are so proud of you for being able to handle this on a daily basis. Wow!"
Months passed by. I still think about that experience, but it wasn't until recently that I felt the Holy Spirit bring the ordeal up and ask me "Chanell, why were you so afraid?" And I was dumbfounded that He would even ask me that. "I wasn't afra…..," but I knew there was no wool thick enough to pull over His eyes so I said…"I don't know". And right there He begin to be that Helper and Comfort that Christ said He'd be. He assured me that never have anything to fear. He walks with me, within me, and my angels stand on each side of me. And just like my mother said, "Chanell, they won't do anything to you because I'm here," the Holy Spirit assured me of the same promise.
What do I have to fear? Of whom should I be afraid? What is this perfect love that casts out all my fears? I desire to come to know it better by and by.
