Lord, you want me to do what?

A year ago this past October, Chandler asked me to help her pray about something, this ‘something’ was the World Race. At the time I knew a little about the World Race but had no idea how it would impact our family. Of course when your child asks you to pray you say “Sure!” My mind immediately went to a mom friend of mine whose daughter was finishing the Gap Year and I remember very clearly trying to encourage her in her worry when her daughter committed to the race, explaining ‘What a great experience, no worries, God will take care of her.’ As I have often said, God truly has a sense of humor. Here I was, not even a year later, in the same spot.  I immediately thought, ‘Lord, you want me to do what? Did I hear you say completely trust you with her on this 11 month journey?’  The longest I’ve been away from her has been about a month, and when she has needed us we were always able to get to her. I soon found out that was exactly what He was asking.

 

August rolled around and we found ourselves at what the World Race calls ‘Launch.’ As we sat in the room surrounded by strangers I thought yes, ‘Launch’ is a very appropriate name for this event; it reminded me of launching a spaceship into the darkness of outer space. I pretty much felt like we were sending Chandler into space. I mean we were sending her off with people we didn’t know, to serve in areas that only God knew. Again I found myself asking, ‘Lord, you want me to do what? Did I hear you say open my hand and let her go?’…Yes, that was exactly what He was asking. I remember the fear that was practically strangling both me and her dad as we walked away from the motel the day we left her…But God reminded me of Philippians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.   In his goodness and mercy he placed us in what I have referred to as our ‘bubble of grace’ and literally wrote on my heart the truth of Philippians 4:7 …What peace!

 

November rolled around, an invitation for PVT, an opportunity to see and touch my girl! Who wouldn’t want to do that, right? When I realized that Jeff wasn’t going to be able to travel with me I was back to my famous question, ‘Lord, you want me to do what? Did I hear you say trust me and travel out of the country without Jeff?’ Yes that’s exactly what He was asking.  Get out of my comfort zone of traveling with my earthly comfort. But just like God, He not only sent me a travel buddy but a new friend, Kim, Sue’s mom. So plans were made and we were set.

 

February… watch out Nicaragua the Momma Bears are on their way to see their girls!

What could be better than seeing my girl and ‘watch’ her in ministry, right? What I soon found out this was much more than ‘watch’ this was a ‘do’, be an active participant.  I again asked, ‘Lord, you want me to do what? Did I hear you say live outside my comfort zone a lot this week in order to love intentionally?’ Yes, that’s exactly what He asked.  I cannot explain how much joy, love, laughter, smiles, hugs, beautiful people and scenery I have had the privilege of experiencing during the PVT trip that I would have missed, had I not been willing to be a participant and I settled with being an observer.  The prayer times, the new friendships, the worship and the excitement we shared as we zip lined, the thrill of jumping off a 20 ft. dock into a beautiful lagoon, all of this special time with my girl and strangers who had quickly become family, would have been missed had I not chosen to actively participate. Seeing how she has grown in her faith and the boldness she has to share and pray with others, was amazing..All I can say is God is a good, good Father!

 

Now that I’ve had some time to reflect and process more about my trip there are two words that best summarize what I would call my favorite part, ‘Fearless Participants.’  Watching a group of young people who are consistently giving God time, reading his word, allowing space to fearlessly listen and then actively participating in their relationship with him. That was definitely my favorite part! 

 

As I left Nicaragua I left a few things behind: a part of my heart for a missionary and his family and their work in REAP ministries, a community that I will forever love, strangers that are now family, and a fear that keeps me stuck to a tree with a question….’Lord, you want me to do what?’

I leave taking with me: a renewed passion not to be bound by fear but to be a ‘Fearless Participant’ asking a new question ‘Lord WHAT do you want me to do?’  Remembering I can do ALL things through Christ that strengthens me…..A Thankful heart for God’s presence at PVT and a renewed spirit to fly with Him wherever He leads!