From the outside looking in this journey looks incredible. It is. I mean- it’s full of salvations, life restorations and adventures, but there’s more. And honestly, this month I struggled.
Instagram and Facebook rarely depict what is happening when the camera isn’t on. From a scale of ‘Marley and Me’ ugly cry to Britney Spears breakdown – my off camera moments definitely were a solid seven.
Upon arrival to our ministry site, staff members of the school we would be partnering with greeted us. They thought we were volunteers from the Peace Corp. We assumed they were Christian hosts who would show us how to plug ourselves into the ministry. Fair assumption considering every other month has looked that way.
*Expectations vs reality*
We are definitely radical, Christian missionaries.
They are definitely devout, practicing Buddhist.
Then I began operating with a victim mentality. Why are they taking me to Buddhist temples and asking me to pay respects? These kids don’t speak any English. How am I supposed to teach about Jesus? We are we the only Christians. How are we supposed to do this all alone? My name is Chandler, not Chammer. Also, why the heck is there music that plays over the loudspeaker CONSTANTLY? These thoughts replayed in my mind. So, I turned to my teammates in hope they had answers.
They didn’t.
Operating with a victim mentality causes us to believe that life is happening to us. We fail to see possibilities but instead see only problems.
Oxford dictionary defines a victim as, “a person who has come to feel helpless and passive in the face of misfortune or ill-treatment.” Something I have learned this month: when you feel defeated and helpless, don’t run to people. They don’t have the answers. Ray Stedman states, “God will sometimes deliberately deny us human help in order that we may learn how much greater is the help waiting for us from his invisible kingdom.” Ouch. So that means even my loving, God-fearing teammates who are fiercely pursuing a relationship with the Lord have nothing for me in my time of need.
Lying on my thin cheetah print sleeping pad the school provided, I legitimately cried myself to sleep one night. I assumed I hit “B zone” aka what World Racers call the low points of the journey. I was constantly surrounded by teammates, but somehow managed to feel alone.
I wanted my mom. I wanted my dad. I wanted a bed. I wanted a burger.
But ya know what? Joy comes in the morning. As the days passed, God began clarifying through prayer, sermons and verses what it meant when the Bible referred to the Lord as our shepherd.
Shepherds sacrifice for and defend their sheep. If a sheep wonders from the pack, the shepherd sets out to find it. He will break the lost sheep’s leg so it does not run away again. Then he carries the sheep until the sheep regains it’s strength to walk. Sheep recognize the voice of their shepherd.
I’ve learned He is my advocate and He is fighting for me. He cares for me enough to discipline me when my heart wonders. When I am broken and experiencing my off camera moments, He carries and sustains me. Most importantly, I’ve learned it is vital to listen for His voice in all situations.
There has been SO much victory in Thailand. I have found intimacy with the Lord that has challenged me to continue to listen for His voice. Our team shares the gospel each day covering all 900 students at the school. We lead worship every day in the courtyard at lunch. We proclaim freedom and truth over this campus for every student. And we are not alone. We found a church with members who love on us so well.
Our goal in being here is to fight for Thailand’s independence from the darkness. Thailand has never been colonized. Although this is not documented in history books, it’s apparent Satan has consumed Thailand. Prostitution and human trafficking is openly flaunted.
J-Squad is here and we are claiming Thailand for His kingdom. We are fighting and gradually unmasking the enemy’s schemes both in the country and in our personal lives.
So Thailand, I claim you as a victory.
But there is a bigger victory- the victory won on the cross. The victim was Jesus. He took the punishment he didn’t deserve. He has scars that show the suffering He endured. But that’s not the end. He resurrected the victor. The empty tomb is proof. He conquered death, Satan and all of the consuming feelings/thoughts during our off camera moments.
So, we aren’t victims who operate with a helpless mentality. We are victors. We are more than conquerors. Christ has given us authority. Let’s live like it. Let’s not view our circumstances as problems but rather possibilities. I know from experience – a change in perspective opens up the heart to see how God is at work. Let’s walk with courage into the darkness knowing we bring His light.
Satan wants us to believe that we are defeated. Unfortunately for Him, our Father has already taken care of that.
So the choice is ours. What mindset will we operate in: victim or victor?
