I have fallen in love with South Africa, not just because it is beautiful and the people are amazing, but because I am confident that God has revealed Himself and my purpose here in a very new and unique way. My team and I have joked about coming back almost every day we have spent here. Some of us daydream about starting lives here and even refer to it as our future home. Everything and everyone have been incredible, but the only explanation I have for the source of my complete infatuation with this place is from the Lord.
Don’t get me wrong- I miss life at home. I really miss my Mom and Dad, who are the greatest people I have ever known. I miss my brother, who taught me more about giving and serving others than any other person on this planet. I still dread missing birthdays, holidays and big milestones in my friend’s lives…It hasn’t all been easy.
But to be perfectly honest, despite it all, I really just want to stay.
South Africa feels like home. It isn’t home because of the comforts that remind me of America. It’s home because a piece of my heart and my story will stay here even when I go. I have developed relationships that have pushed me closer to the Lord, I have seen teenagers walk out of struggles and into what the Father has for them and I have experienced the love and hospitality of genuine people seeking kingdom advancement. South Africa is home because this is where God has revealed Himself in intimacy with Him, through mission for Him and with community serving Him.
Sitting in Cape Town earlier this week, the Lord reminded me of a very special night that ignited the flame in my heart for the nations. Two years ago, I sat at a middle school camp and heard a message from a woman who moved to Cape Town with her husband for missions. I have no idea what the message was about but I knew that throughout her entire talk my heart felt like it was jumping out of my chest.
After the message, I remember fully surrendering my life, my future and my dreams completely to the Lord. I was told that He had great plans for me and I was going to serve him in big ways. I remember immediately calling my mom and telling her I felt like God was calling me to be a missionary. Looking back, I can’t even imagine her reaction because at the time I was still living the typical “college” life and could hardly get life’s temptations under control. But that’s the cool thing about the Lord. He sees us in our messes and still calls us to serve Him.
It was easy to hear then that the Lord had great plans for me. It’s still easy to hear but it gets harder to acknowledge that God’s great plans continue to draw me out of my comfort zone.
If anyone would have told me two years ago that I’d be sitting in Africa on a mission trip sobbing while writing a blog about leaving I wouldn’t have believed you. But that goes to show that God is above all things and before all things. He is in control of all things past, present and future and he holds all things together. He makes a way when it doesn’t seem possible and he continually pursues us.
So, I’m leaving another place that I call “home” completely heartbroken. But I have an unexplainable peace with this goodbye because I have no doubt that I will be back. Like I have said many times this month… Jesus brought me to Africa once; I don’t doubt that he would do it again if this is in fact where I am meant to be. I am still in awe that the Lord chose me for something as incredible as this.
Yes, I want to stay in South Africa but most importantly I just want to remain in the plans the Lord has for me.
So, what now? I wish I could tell you what life is going to look like when the race is over. But from what I do know, the love story Jesus and I have going continues to get sweeter and as far as our transition to the next continent is concerned-I hope Asia is ready…we’re coming for you!
PRAYER REQUESTS: God continues to pursue the teenagers I came in contact with, Vietnam is a closed country so open conversations about Jesus will be few, Fundraising is still happening for our team…our deadline is November 30th!
A little more about what ministry looked like this month is included in this video!
Let’s talk about Sex Baby from Chandler McKinney on Vimeo.
