Drugs. Sex. Rock-n-roll. And a little bit of romance.
(every parents nightmare lol)……
Johnny Cash and June Carter. An unhealthy relationship at its best and worst. Along with the glitzy distractions of Hollywood came the glamorous performances, enticing drugs and the struggles that were immediate consequences of the latter. There stood 2 good people twisted up in their bad choices. People with good intentions but unhealthy and traumatic backgrounds. Life was a stage and when they found each other they found co-dependancy in a slow downward spiral.
This was me once. This was (most likely) you once. We've all found our Johnnys and Junes, to whatever degree. I wouldn't ever take anything back, because all the muck I walked through made me who I am today. I don't say this because that muck defined me…no, no it didn't. Jesus brought me OUT of that muck and then HE defined me….and THAT"S how I KNEW He LOVED me. It became part of my testimony of how far God can take a person. It became a redemption opportunity.
(to God be the glory!)
Fast forward: During this part of the race I started questioning in my head, "have I really made a difference?, have I really changed all that much?,what do people expect when I get home? and will I meet those expectations?…..why does that even matter, it's not a performance based change, it's heart change, have I effected people's lives like I 'wanted'? have I given everything I can?, have I learned everything I could? what crazy stories am I going to tell, and what if those DON'T effect others like they DID effect me? will I be angry that they just don't get it? how will my life re-adapt to America, my home, my friends….."
You get the point. Ramblings in my head. It's the end of month 10 on an 11 month journey and I'm dealing with re-entry anxiety, fear, doubt, rejection…. pretty much anything the enemy can throw at a girl!
Well, just recently I got an email. This email confirmed that God had SURELY been using me in ways I had NO CLUE. It was from my Johnny. My heart raced as I read it….but……. it wasn't words of revenge or hatred, it was words of thanks and redemption. Words of confirmation that God has been working behind the scenes & using me even though I'm a million miles away.
As I read the words I heard my papa's voice not his. It was something pure and I knew God was using him as a messenger. My papa more than confirmed I've run my race well. At the end of reading it I took a huge breath in and sighed, and I smiled because I knew that God's been working through me in the least expected places. He's not only been redeeming MY past but also my Johnnys past. Which is always very settling to know that the person you once loved is healing & growing like you are. Such a cool inside sneak peek at the glory of God evident in someone else's life. God uses us in ways sometimes that we have NO CLUE! My mother said to me "sometimes, Celeste, you never know who is watching your life." (Which,yes, is a creepy statement, lol)….but nonetheless true.
This is me encouraging you that wherever you've been, whatever you've seen of God's glory and redemption….. tell it, show it, SCREAM it, & LIVE it because other's are waiting to hear it. They WANT to hear it and they NEED to hear it. You never know just HOW it may change someone else's life……………or even come back to sweetly bless you. My Jesus is faithful, and THAT'S somethin' to bank on!
You can take THIS to the bank!:
Psalm 145: 13b-14 "The Lord is FAITHFUL to all His promises & loving towards all He has made. The Lord upholds all those who fall and lifts up all those who are bowed down."
*Romans 1:8 " First, I thank my Lord Jesus Christ because YOUR FAITH IS BEING REPORTED ALL OVER THE WORLD."
2 Peter 1:3-4**
James 1: 2 -trials and temptations
1 Peter 5: 10- redemption
Isaiah 58: 11 – He sustains
Psalm 32: 7-10; Psalm 33: 5; Psalm 33: 18-22- His UNFAILING love
