I woke up, it was sunny outside and the birds singing played on the threshold from being beautiful to annoying as I dozed in and out of my waking slumber. I knew I had to get up soon or else I'd be rushing for the rest of the day. I slipped off my eye mask, yawned big, and wondered what this day would hold. I smiled and knew it was something worth getting up for, because I'd had wild dreams the night before.
The things I DID know the day would hold were this: walking 1 hour each way to a church with a red clay floor, and bars for windows up in the village we have been visiting; telling my life story and how God restored me from drugs, alcohol, and abuse, to freedom, love, and a new life, and……
I WOULD GET TO SEE MY LITTLE GIRL TODAY! Her name is Jojion.
I knew was going to be our last Sunday here. Our relationship started out a bit stand-offish, with a little willingness to stand around me but not to touch. No matter how hard I tried making her laugh by acting goofy, all I got in return was a blank stare. By the next week this little 5 year old was cracking a smile at me. She would copy animal noises I would make on our walk home from church. Our favorite was the turkey gobble, and whistling.
Our relationship began growing through dancing at church and sitting on my lap during service. By 1/2 way through the month she was laughing with me, dancing beside me, and cuddling with me.
One sunday, I was sitting in service with her on my lap. She put her arms above her head around my neck, clasped them, laid her head on my chest, and sighed. I wrapped my arms around her waist and laid my head on her head. I sighed, kissed her forehead, and closed my eyes. As long as she sat still, I sank in our embrace.
(Jojion with Jaydens picture she gave me before I left for the race)
This was my confirmation. God is going to give me a little girl. In my past, I was so scared to have a little girl. I didn't want our relationship to be like my moms and my past relationship. I thought it was doomed to rebellion, verbal abuse, hardships, and would cause a lot of pain. I realized I had this view when I was going through some inner healing ministry, and God exposed those things. At this time, I realized a war has already been waged against my daughter. Satan was already using my old fears to hinder our future relationship. Oh, heck no! Not MY little girl!
God told me that my little girls and my relationship will be a gift to both of us, is ordained by God, and will bring me life. These words were calming to my soul, but after that point (almost a year ago) I never really thought of it…..until today, when my heart felt so comfortable in that little girls embrace.
(jojion, her dad, and I)
Today, she tried talking to me in her cute voice, however since I don't speak Rwandan I did not understand…..but I'm thinking she said something to the effect of this, because this is what I would've said to her : You have opened my eyes to the love of Christ, to the love of what a mother-daughter relationship can hold, to the gift of it, to the true embrace and comfortablity that can come after only 1 month, all because of love. Thankyou for showing me this. No words, just actions, just kisses.
"We love because Christ first loved us." (1 John 4:19)
(continued)…..
I visited Jojion for the last time in the village. I was talking about her to our contact Robert. He asked me to show her to him so He would know who I was talking about. It began to rain as we were walking to the village, which made my heart sink because I knew she wouldn't be outside.
As we got to the top of the hill, I rounded the corner and saw her standing and waiting for me. As soon as she saw me, she ran with arms open and a huge smile on her face to jump in my arms! I squealed in delight because it was an answered prayer! That day I gave her a picture that one of my friends daughters drew me before I left for my trip. She held it proud and smiled.
We then went to deliver bibles to the people that accepted Christ this month and on our way back it was pouring rain! I just wanted one more time to say bye and there she was, the first one to run outside it the rain and she hugged me one last time. I kissed her on the cheek and she kissed me back. I said goodbye and started walking away and she kept running after me. That made it so hard to keep walking away. Eventually, she stopped at the top of the hill as I went down, but my heart would'nt let me stop looking back. She truley has been life-changing for me and I love her. <3
