In just 5 short days at training camp my mind has been filled with doubts, my spirit has experienced freedom and my body has been beaten into submission. It’s been hard – no joke. The days are long and the schedule is intense. And like we’ve been told, everything they are doing is very purposeful. So I guess it’s nice to know that nothing is done in vain.
There are about 200 racers divided into 4 squads here at camp. We’ve heard tons of testimonies, spent hours in worship sessions, begun to bond as a squad, problem solved as teams, and, ahem, eaten some interesting things. I can’t give too many details since they want all future Racers to have an equally unique experience (which would be kind of tarnished if they knew what to expect).
This is where I am currently living. My tent is the yellow/gray one on the bottom right.
There have been moments where I have seriously thought, “I’ve made the biggest mistake of my life.” So pairing this up with the realization of just how committed I already am (condo is rented, resignation letter turned in, thousands of dollars donated) has caused me anxiety. I felt trapped. No way out.
So I did the only thing I could do – pray. “Lord, are you sure about this? Being surrounded by all of these folks for just a few days is SO draining for me, the introvert. Lord, I don’t think I have the stamina for a year. Mentally, emotionally or physically. Lord, my back has been bugging me at camp. I am in a place where I can’t control my surroundings to fully protect my back. I don’t think I can do this. Amen.” You’d think being is such a spirit-filled place I would hear His audible voice after my prayer. But, I haven’t. Instead he’s sent words of encouragement through squad mates. They don’t know that the few words they’ve spoken has given me such peace and filled my heart with such love. The Lord also provided me with protection from the cold. The first two nights were quite yucky. My body is not used to cold weather at all. I guess you can blame all my years of living in Florida. But for the first two nights I shivered so much I could not fall asleep. No matter what I did I could not get warm. So by day 3, my tent neighbor Chelsea bought me some gloves and a hat on her quick trip to Wal-Mart and one of my squad leaders let me borrow her sleeping bag as a blanket. They were both complete answers to prayers.
New friends that I’ve made. Robin from T squad and Chelsea from my squad (U). They’re awesome!
Needless to say that even though every muscle in my body is screaming and I still have worries about my back…I know who is in control. He has planned every detail of this journey. I can not worry that He’s neglected to think of something. So, even though this will probably be the hardest thing I have to do…I can’t see how this won’t also provide me with the most blessed year ever. Jesus’ sacrifice is totally worth a few nights in freezing temps, sleeping in a tent outdoors and living a very extroverted life in my introverted world. (Having a nice warm hat sure does helps)
