Dear friends and family,
Time is getting shorter for our race. I realize that there are still 3 months left, but 3 months is so short! As we talk about going home and what that will be like, there are so many thoughts that come to my head. How many things I’ve experienced and people that I’ve loved and left, the questions that I’m going to be asked that I don’t feel I will have the answers to, and even the things that I have missed out on back home. I will go from constant change to the fear of falling back into what’s comfortable.
There are a lot of things that I wish I could explain, but I can’t really. You would think that going home would be only exciting and relieving, but that’s just not true. As excited as I am to come home and hug and hold my new niece and spend time with family…I’m scared of being sad for the relationships I’ve left behind and days ahead filled with nothing to do but think. I’m scared of what comes next….all of the decisions that need to be made in order to get back into life. And what does that really mean? Where to live and where to work? Will I fit into the friendships I’ve left back home? What comes next and what are the next steps to getting there? If my next steps are to leave again, will people understand? I want to be able to come home and enjoy my family and be back into my routine….but what routine is that? It’s going to be hard to explain the things that will make me sad and I will be spending tons of time trying to stay connected with the new friends I’ve made not only from my travels but the people I’ve spent the last 11 months with. It will be hard to tell all of my stories, and harder still when people don’t really care or get any of my inside jokes besides people that are hundreds of miles away.
I don’t want you to think that I don’t care about you or want to be with you, or that you don’t make me happy, because that’s not the truth at all. The truth is that it’s always hard to give people up and not know when you will see them again. Even from month to month it’s hard, but coming home is almost like a feeling of it all being over. Also, on the race we are ALWAYS together. I am pretty much never alone, which can be annoying at times, but for the most part it’s good since I like being around people. The hard part is going to be going home and not having that same kind of 24/7 community. Not having anyone close who understands what the last year has been like and no one that can just be with me all of the time.
I guess this blog/letter is just to ask that you be understanding as we come home. Understand that we will need some buffer time to be able to get back into normal life. For awhile, we may just need someone to listen to our stories and laugh and cry with us as we move from one stage in life to the next.
If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it. (?1 Corinthians? ?12?:?26? NIV)
Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. (?Romans? ?12?:?15? NIV)
