For the past 3 months I’ve battled some hardcore
homesickness. I just want to see my
family, sleep in my bed with my dog, eat real American food, and hang out with
my friends. It sounds very selfish I know,
and I haven’t been exactly happy that I’ve felt this way. But nothing seems to help. I can’t find any cure to this pain that makes
me cry and think “I just don’t know how I’m going to make it 5 more
months�. Sometimes it interferes with
ministry. Sometimes ministry keeps my
mind off of it. Unfortunately it affects
my attitude which affects the whole team.
I just don’t know what to do anymore except keep in prayer and in the
Word.
So the other day I was wallowing in my homesickness. Then the kids started to get home and loudly
stomped over ready for some attention. I
looked at their faces and thought…I wonder how homesick they are. Some of them have mothers that live with them
here at Asha House, but most of them have mothers still in India or no longer
alive. None of them know any sort of
father figure. Not one of them has a
father in their life. I first started
thinking about this one kid who’s been here for one month, and his mother is in
India trying to get out so she can come make a home for them here in Nepal. I wonder if he misses her, if he wants to
just talk to her and see her face. One
girl got to Asha the same day we did.
Her mother died from AIDs. I
wonder if she thinks about her mother often.
I wonder if she compares the women here to how her mother took care of
her. I wonder if she even knows her mother
is dead and she won’t see her ever again.
I wonder…
Then my thoughts changed focus to the women here. All of the hurt they’ve seen and
experienced. When they were sold into
the sex industry, most likely they were drugged and brought there against their
will. They probably woke up in a cage,
being told that they had been sold and they now have to work off their
debt. They were probably as young as 13
years old. So scared, so alone, so
homesick. And they had no escape. No chance of calling their families and
telling them what’s happened. They are
stuck there working off their debt to their madam. They probably saw no hope, no help on the
way. Then I think about their families
back home, so worried, so anxious. So
homesick for their daughters/sisters to be returned safely. The saddest part is most of them were
probably sold by their dad, brother, or boyfriend. People they thought they could trust. Completely betrayed. Completely alone. Forever traumatized.
I quickly began to see how blessed I am. How I get to call home once a week and
actually see my family’s faces on Skype and hear their voices. How I have a family that loves me so so so
much. How the Lord has brought me all
the way to Nepal to show Christ’s love to these women and children who have
lost so much. How I’ve never been
betrayed or abused. How God has kept me
safe and provided for me every second of this trip. I’m so blessed. I’m so honored to be able to be used by God
in such a mighty way this year. I may
still miss home, but my perspective has shifted. I will praise God every step of this journey
for the hundreds of blessing He’s bestowed on me daily.
