(written 07/29/2010)
Irealize that I haven’t been the most forthcoming this month when it comes to
the writing of blogs, much less of posting.
My
first inclination, when I started thinking about why this is the case, was to
say it was because there was nothing that happened worth writing about.
first inclination, when I started thinking about why this is the case, was to
say it was because there was nothing that happened worth writing about.
I
never set foot in the hospitals.
never set foot in the hospitals.
Door
to door didn’t seem to involve much in the way of craziness.
to door didn’t seem to involve much in the way of craziness.
Visiting
the village Team Dynami worked in wasn’t all that crazy, either.
the village Team Dynami worked in wasn’t all that crazy, either.
Everything
truly crazy that happened at the Crusade last week happened when I didn’t go,
and this week has been all about bible studies.
truly crazy that happened at the Crusade last week happened when I didn’t go,
and this week has been all about bible studies.
Looking
at it that way, it’s hard to find much of anything to write about.
at it that way, it’s hard to find much of anything to write about.
But
maybe the problem isn’t in what happened this month – it’s in how I am choosing
to see what happened this month.
maybe the problem isn’t in what happened this month – it’s in how I am choosing
to see what happened this month.
In
hindsight, it’s been a month of the miraculous.
hindsight, it’s been a month of the miraculous.
Demons
cast out, people healed, others joining us in the Kingdom.
cast out, people healed, others joining us in the Kingdom.
Not
to mention, God’s protective hand has been over us every step of the way.
to mention, God’s protective hand has been over us every step of the way.
I
just haven’t chosen to see it in that light.
just haven’t chosen to see it in that light.
The
truth is, I’ve struggled this month with homesickness like I’ve never felt
before in my life.
truth is, I’ve struggled this month with homesickness like I’ve never felt
before in my life.
My
oldest sister, Christina, is having a baby in September (a baby I won’t see
until I get home in November), and her baby shower is in just over a week.
oldest sister, Christina, is having a baby in September (a baby I won’t see
until I get home in November), and her baby shower is in just over a week.
Even
typing that thought out is enough to bring me to tears.
typing that thought out is enough to bring me to tears.
It’s
one of those things I knew I would have to sacrifice if I went on the Race, but
the enormity of that sacrifice hit me, and suddenly I wanted to go home.
one of those things I knew I would have to sacrifice if I went on the Race, but
the enormity of that sacrifice hit me, and suddenly I wanted to go home.
That
homesickness has affected my attitude, and tinged my view of Tanzania ever since it hit.
homesickness has affected my attitude, and tinged my view of Tanzania ever since it hit.
Regrettably,
I hid how I was feeling behind illness and used it as an excuse to stay home
from ministry some days.
I hid how I was feeling behind illness and used it as an excuse to stay home
from ministry some days.
I’ve
spent moments in the last few days contemplating what I could possibly say
about this month, and walked away mostly empty-handed.
spent moments in the last few days contemplating what I could possibly say
about this month, and walked away mostly empty-handed.
Did
I really waste this month?
I really waste this month?
Did
I seriously deprive myself of the privilege of being part of God’s Kingdom
coming to Tanzania because of my own
foolishness?
I seriously deprive myself of the privilege of being part of God’s Kingdom
coming to Tanzania because of my own
foolishness?
One
of the things I’ve learned out here is that God is good at redeeming the things
I screw up.
of the things I’ve learned out here is that God is good at redeeming the things
I screw up.
I
have no doubt in my mind that He is going to do something with this month.
have no doubt in my mind that He is going to do something with this month.
Yesterday,
I listened to a sermon about Jonah – and how God used his half-hearted prophesy
for Nineveh to bring an entire city to
repentance.
I listened to a sermon about Jonah – and how God used his half-hearted prophesy
for Nineveh to bring an entire city to
repentance.
If
that same God is guiding my footsteps, I can expect Him to do something with Tanzania despite my half-hearted
attempts.
that same God is guiding my footsteps, I can expect Him to do something with Tanzania despite my half-hearted
attempts.
And
oh how I hope that is the case.
oh how I hope that is the case.
*photo courtesy of Courtney Folwick
