This last week of ministry has been challenging.
For me specifically, the challenge has been in staying home sick while most of the rest of the team went out for ministry to various hospitals around Mwanza.
While they were praying for health and comfort for the sick and injured in the still developing world, I was lying flat on my back and… thinking.
Thursday morning, I went to the doctor to find out the dreadful truth.
I have malaria.
Fortunately, I went to the doctor and got medicine quickly.
Fortunately, I’m not so sick that I had to go to the hospital.
I’m lucky, blessed, loved… and whatever other descriptor you want to throw in at this particular moment to say how fortunate I am right at this very moment.
Unfortunately, I’m also confused – not about how I got sick.
It’s more what is supposed to come out this time that I’m confused about.
Like I said, I’ve had a LOT of time to think.
A lot of time to think, a lot of time to pray, to soak in God’s presence, and just rest in His arms while I waited to find out what exactly was going wrong with my body this time.
But I’m coming out on the other side without understanding why.
I’ve realized in the last twenty-four hours, though, that I rely a lot on the question why.
Asking why something happens is something I cling to, and the answer is evidence I can hold onto in case the enemy comes back at me later with lies.
Before I say anything else, let me say that having evidence isn’t bad.
It’s good to have truth to counter lies with.
The problem comes in when I hold onto the truths themselves, and not God – the source of all truth.
The truths themselves can’t save me, not in and of themselves.
They have to be coming from God – otherwise, it’s like holding on to a sinking raft… just like holding onto lies.
And I have to cling to Him in order to stay afloat.
