Lately I’ve been saying I’m finally letting myself process the race…what does that mean? What does processing eleven months of my life look like? Well right now it looks like, missing it. Grieving it. Mourning over a time that was so hard and so wonderful, only tears can express the gratitude and heartbreak. Looking back at pictures to reminisce on the times that I never want to forget about, with the people who have come to mean so much to me. Remembering the moments that each picture captured trying to remember the different smells, the weather, the feelings I was experiencing in those moments. It took me six long months after I got home to allow myself to start feeling things. Some of that is because I jumped back into a busy life with school and a job, some of that is not wanting to properly grieve and some of it is not wanting to face some of the harder times that the Race brought about. Whatever the reason, God has brought me to a place where I have a choice to face the process or avoid it and go on with life like nothing big just happened.
The reality is the World Race was a wonderful experience, but in the midst of every wonderful experience there are lessons learned and hard times. These things can’t be avoided, instead God asks us to face them head on with Him and grow from them. Truth is I miss my World Race family, I miss the pace of traveling to a different country every month and sometimes a different location within each month, I miss feeling uncomfortable doing a ministry that I had never done before, I miss preaching, I miss sleeping on my 3 feet sleeping pad, I miss living in constant community, I miss having only three dollars to spend on food each day, I miss riding moto’s to get places, I miss living out of a backpack, I miss not knowing what a day is going to hold…
But for now I will rejoice. I have been so blessed since returning home from the race. I had plans to just go back to school, and God opened a door for me to have a job that I love while taking classes. I am living in a new place and enjoying the piles of snow that come with that! As a coach, I am able to daily minister to a group of beautiful young ladies. I have an amazing boyfriend who continues to encourage me and push me closer to God through it all. I have the support of a wonderful family! Man, I am so thankful to have been through all that I have been through to be where God has me right now in this moment. Processing can be hard, but it all makes me feel closer to the One who has been with me through EVERYTHING. And that is something to be thankful for and rejoice over!
