There have been so many highs in the past four months of the race. We have been able to experience God in so many ways. He is our Provider, our Comforter, our Guide, our Healer, our advice giver and our Creator. However there is an ebb and a flow to everything. When the dust settles down, whether you’re laying in bed by yourself, or in a room full of your new friends, the little things hit you.
I wouldn’t give up being on the race for anything. I’ve learned too much, and have grown in so many ways in just 4 months and learning to seek the Lord in different ways is one of them.
My whole life I have been blessed with an amazingly supportive family. If I ever needed anything I’d call them, from a flat tire or being stuck in a snow drift to not being able to deposit my check in the bank before they close. I’d call my family and they would help me out without a second thought. These past four months I’ve been able to seek the Lord as my provider, and man does he provide well. I cannot tell you how many times we have arrived in an area on a whim with no place to stay because we felt God telling us just go. When we listen He provides.
When we were in Rwanda we felt God wanted us to be at Urukundo, the children’s home I wrote about previously. We prayed about this a lot because we weren’t sure how he wanted us in a place we could not afford by any means. But we heard Him clearly that He wanted us there. To learn from and love on the precious children. We had made friends with a girl named Devine. She was so sweet and so fun to be around. She happened to be one of the first kids Momma Arlene took in. She spoke with her mom and told her about our mission and she agreed to have us stay with her and all the kids of Urukundo knowing we could not pay her the price she asked. God works wonders to provide for His children, and we ARE daughters of the most high king.
There are times I miss sitting in the garage with my dad for hours, watching movies in bed with my mom, falling asleep on my grandparents couch after an amazing meal, going on tiny adventures with my cousins, being eccentric with my aunts, enjoying life with my best friends, or leaning on my big brother for support when I don’t want to step outside my comfort zones, I’d just bring him, he’s always helped me through it. But these last 4 months I’ve been able to have God be my comforter. Don’t get me wrong I still feel the need to text my family for all kinds of things, and I do still wish my brother could be with me on this journey. Since the beginning I wished my brother could go with me, we’ve lived life together and shared everything for 27 years. In the beginning it was because I was scared I couldn’t do this without my supportive big bro, but now I wish he was here to experience God in all these ways also. I still enjoy knowing my family is just a text away but God has comforted me through my fears of not fitting in, and my fears of being terribly sad and homesick. God has not failed me, He has made me feel so deeply loved these past 4 months, when I put my focus on Him and intentionally seek Him, I feel His love so strongly.
Back home I love to google EVERYTHING. Google is by far my most used app on my phone. I use google to find my way around, and figure out what is going on in Chicago that weekend, or if there is a festival near home I want to attend. But now we use listening prayers. Asking God what He has on His heart for me for each day. Sometimes He just prompts me to speak to the taxi driver we are walking passed, or offer a smile to someone. Other times we feel and hear Him telling us to take time to ourselves to seek Him more. As we move our feet, God is guiding and planting our steps just like our leadership said would happen.
When I get sick at home I just complain to my mom until she tells me to “take her advice on how to feel better, go to the doctor or stop complaining”. Sometimes I’d rather just complain to her than do anything about it. I am a little too stubborn to see a doctor when I am sick. When I was really sick in Ethiopia I still texted her letting her know of my bowel movements and vomiting, you know the normal “TMI” stuff. I remember getting up so many times that night and just praying for hours to feel better. One time I got up too quickly and woke up my teammate Melo. When I came back to the room Melo prayed for me. As she was praying for me I felt her hands get warmer, and the warmth spread in my body, and my headache went away, and the nausea went away and at almost 3 am I was finally able to fall asleep for the first time and slept for the rest of the night. When I woke back up I felt God saying, stop being stubborn and go to the doctor. I ended up having an infection in my intestine, but felt fine a few days later.
When I am in a situation where I need advice, because I’m not always the best at making decisions, I use the phone a friend method. Usually my mom, aunts or besties. I do still use my family chat, and rely on motivating messages from my gma, mom and aunts, but now I take my choices to God first. He will not steer me wrong.
My prayer is that everyone is able to seek our Creator in different roles in our lives. God always comes through, believe in what you are praying for, have faith.
One of the motivating bible verses my aunt sent me:
Psalm 27:13-14
I’m sure now I’ll see God’s goodness in the exuberant earth. Stay with GOD! Take heart. Don’t quit I’ll say it again:
stay with GOD!
So yes, there are times I miss my family and friends, but I take comfort in knowing they’re supporting me from afar, and the good times will resume when I return. I also LOVE hearing the testimonies of how God is working in them back home. We serve a mighty God and He provides, comforts, guides, and heals His children. Take comfort in knowing that, I know I do.
