So where am I going with all of this? Where am I being led? I’m being led to understand what it means to make a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland. Isaiah 43:19 speaks of newness. Newness of life and love and grace. I’ve always loved that verse and have desired to understand its deep meaning. God is doing a new thing. He is making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland. We are just blessed to be a part of it. This last month has been a conflagration of many experiences and ups and downs. I always knew (all of my team did) that it was going to be for a great and glorious thing, that the Kingdom of God would be expanded and glorified because of our smallness and His greatness. Sometimes it feels like we’ve been through the ringer, run over by confusion and uncertainty. It’s been a difficult month of traveling, worrying about safety and budgets, giving in to fear and lies, conflicting on what we are supposed to do, being quick to anger and slow to love at times… all the things us ‘Christians,’ that have love, should not be doing, should have conquered long ago.
God is springing up. He’s springing up in the lives of our new friends. I was so concerned when we were first getting to know them that we weren’t really any different to them. I was afraid we were simply new people to talk to because the base is very secluded. That’s another thing that I felt conquered by, that I wasn’t really different deep down; that people didn’t see something else in me. But I know that’s not true. I know that I am set apart and that the Spirit of the Lord is upon me. He’s been showing me how I can allow Him to make a difference just by being. As we moved from Utila to Comayagua, I understood that what God needed me to do was to just be me. I’ve gotten a lot of confirmation lately about how I’m supposed to live my life. He’s been reassuring me that all I’m supposed to do is be me, and that He’s happy with me. Everything I do is supposed to be for His glory and Honor, even the simple act of just living my life.
That is what this month has been for me. I’ve learned that God is pleased with me in the day to day and He uses me even when I don’t notice it. Even when I’m being stubborn or whatever, I’m still loved. It’s that easy. I’ve always heard that the truth of the Gospel is easy. That’s becoming a reality to me. I was loved first. So were you.
