Cold water rushed over feet. Toes burrowed into piles of crushed shells, barnacles scratched at the heels of hands and backs of knees, fingernails skimmed lines of tiny purple clams clinging for dear life into cracks. Claire and I sat in a cove made of huge rocks, our feet in a tidal pool with the waves rushing over them.
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We were almost exactly halfway through the Race when we climbed up and over the rocks from the stretch of sandy beach we had walked up in search of shells. It felt symbolic.
The first six months of the Race have been a rollercoaster, physically and emotionally. Writing blogs every week forces linearization to this story, yet things don’t feel very linear when I’m living this out.
But walking into a peaceful cove with a sweet friend, it felt like the Lord had rolled out the red carpet for me. As if she said, “Here’s a gift, just for you.”
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The water rolled in over the rocks and swirled around our ankles, slowly bringing in the tide. Claire and I talked about deep, hard things, and we also laughed and sorted through bright shells. The saltwater slowly washed away all the sand and hard bits of shells that stuck to our feet from the walk as the tide slowly rose around us.
I don’t usually believe that everything happens for a reason, or that we can see the fractured spirals of God’s reasoning line up like colors in a kaleidoscope. Yet it was as if the Lord had been bringing me there all along- as if everything that happened before was to make this moment of peace and beauty and rest all the more poignant. Claire and I lapsed into sweet silence, strung out as we were between sea and stone and sky.
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This month, halfway through the Race, I learned what it means to rest in the Lord. My soul needed a break, a safe harbor where I could heal and restore, even though going into this month I didn’t know that’s what I needed. I was so excited to have a schedule, to have a task to do every single day, that I didn’t realize how tired I was until I walked into a quiet cove in the bay and watched the tide come in.
The tide is coming in, in more ways than one. This month I learned to taste and see that the Lord is good, that she tastes like salt, and feels like a peaceful heart, and looks like an endless blue ocean rising to meet me.
