Marriage is fun. Marriage is hard. But most importantly, marriage is unity.
The goal of a marriage is a covenant. The goal of a covenant is that two become one. In my case, 43 became one. This month was all squad month, meaning all 10 guys and 33 girls have lived together in the same vicinity. We ate all of our meals together, labored together, laughed together, and ministered together. I started off the month not really knowing what our ministry would look like. I can only imagine the kind of conversation that 50 white folks doing door to door evangelism in a predominantly Muslim area would stir up. Our first day on the property not only was I surprised by all the manual labor we’d be doing, but I was intrigued by how much of our ministry was actually each other.
Marriage is Fun
With everyone together, the laughter hardly ceased. Many a themed squad night kept us active with merrymaking. My favorite party though was the night we celebrated the January and February birthdays. Of which, all were girls. Kim Grady and I were in charge of baking the cakes (in an oven heated with coals mind you), which was plenty entertaining all on its own. We sat the girls in a row in front of the rest of the squad as an audience. Then we had to guess their answers to a lineup of embarrassing questions. A chitenge background provided a great BYOCamera photo booth complete with all the necessary African props. And to top the night off – 7 rounds of Happy Birthday, candles, and cake. My cup runneth over.
Marriage is Hard.
Our ministry contact, Johan and his main man Shadric, had a generous amount of manual labor to keep us busy. For starters, each day one team was in charge of getting water for the camp. This means walking a half mile down to the well, waiting your turn to pump water and maybe even pumping for one of the village ladies to ensure you can keep your spot in line, pumping your water (which I would describe as in inverse stand up row machine), then carrying the full 20 liter jug up the hill a half mile. That’s hard. Hauling bricks, building fences, wiring electricity on the roof, preparing a garden, and digging holes just to fill them back up again. That’s hard. On top of all that, we had to become vastly comfortable with being uncomfortable. A toilet seat is oftentimes not a necessity in Africa. Squatting to use the potty in a hole is much more practical. Almost nothing is ever clean, our stuff or our bodies…even after a shower. Living in a dirty tent during monsoon season – that’s hard. But the hardest part about the hard was the hardened attitudes.
Marriage is Unity – Sealed With a Kiss
…but actually just some chocolate and clean feet (a hot commodity in Africa). Through the fun and the difficult, the squad continually grew closer; to each other and to The Father. There was a day that Johan completely called off ministry just so we could spend a day intentionally calling out the Spirit in each other, and resting in His presence. This month we became more united as a squad, but as individuals became a further unit with the Holy Spirit. On Valentines Day the men on our squad formed a covenant with the ladies under witness of God Himself, as they served us and washed our feet. For me, this was more than just a nice gesture on their part, but also a promise or challenge, if you will, that the next nine months has everything and nothing to do with me. This group is 100% here for me to enrich my spirituality, but I have to give up 100% of my pride, be raw, and speak the hard truths in order to reap any of the benefits. This idea applies 43-fold.
Ponder the story of Jonathan and David: 1 Samuel 18. This passage is what our marriages, what our relationships as believers should truly look like. Jonathan willingly gave up his robe, his birth right, his place on the throne, laying down his life for his friend. They had a covenant together that was renewed again and again. This is what God calls us to do! A covenant bonds people through Gods love and it will bring joy whether you are in the village in Africa, or the Palace of Versailles.
P.S. The definition of Ministry: The person in front of you.
