It is a strange thing to deconstruct your entire life, to pick up and leave all that you know. This isn’t my first time. That was 3 years ago when I left NY and moved to Hawaii. This time is similar and yet different.
Last time all I took with me was a backpack, a duffle bag and 3 friends. This time I take my pack. Last time I had never been to my destination, this time I have not been to any of the 12 destinations. Last time I had to pack up 27 years of life, this time only 3 and a half.
When you have to go through everything you have, examine it and decide “Am I keeping this?” you really see your life. Not that possessions are a person’s life, but that each possession reflects a part of that life. There are the notes and cards that allow you to remember people and relationships. There are the memories attached to that particular sweatshirt, to that picture or book.
And what am I attached to? I’m sitting in a fairly empty room looking at the things I’m keeping. Here’s a big surprise…I’m storing 3 bags of clothes. Yup, I’m a sucker for a cute dress. I’m attached to my comfy green chair, about 10 books, my hula hoop, some craft stuff, my teapot and cups, and my yoga mat. And honestly, I could probably get rid of a bunch of that too because when I come back I’ll look at it and think “Why did I keep that?”
It is difficult and also freeing to remove yourself from the physical aspects of what makes up your life.
But deconstructing a life is not just about the physical. Stuff doesn’t make up a life. There are people, places, jobs, routines. You walk away from all that is known and comfortable, for even the things that are uncomfortable within our lives are known. As people the unknown is…well, unknown, and therefore scary.
Going forward I know that God will provide for me, as he has each day of my life, even before I believed in him.
I’m excited to see what the year brings and when its done to look back here at what I was thinking before it al began.
