Wait, what?
Since I was accepted to the World Race 10 days ago, I've gone through so many emotions… crazy excitement, fear, excitement, disbelief, denial, "oh shoot, what did you do??," excitement… Honestly, I've been kind of avoiding thinking about it too much (which is easy to do- just bury yourself in homework!), as if it'll suddenly be this big joke.
Ok, ok, my story.
I grew up southeast of Whichta, Kansas for most of my life, pretty much out in the middle of nowhere (but I loved it, unlike some of my siblings..). I grew up in a Christian home as the youngest of 5 kids- 3 sisters and one brother, and I now have 3 nieces, a nephew, and one on the way! People have asked me if I like being the youngest, and honestly, I do. I love seeing my siblings grow up, learning from them (seriously… I doubt I'd be able to change a diaper today if it weren't for them…), getting hand-me-downs… it's great. I might have hated all the teasing growing up, but I'm used to it now, and I actually kind of like it (no telling!)…
I went to a Christian Elementary school for a few years, until we moved out to the country and I was sent to a public school. I hated the idea at first of going to a public school, but I actually ended up loving it by the time I graduated high school. The school I went to was super small (graduating class= 56 people), and I got to know most of my teachers pretty well and even talk to them about their faith.
Anyways, while I was in middle school, I arrived at a sort of crossroads. I saw myself drifting towards the idea that I had to sacrifice "Christian standards" in order to fit in. I had this sort of out of body experience where I saw just how rude and unkind I was becoming, and I hated it. I could either choose to live the rest of my life as superficial and unfulfilled (but looking great and fitting in), or I could choose to live the rest of my life letting Jesus save me, God change me, and the Holy Spirit fill and guide me. I could be a dead plant or a blooming plant., a desert or full of New Life. So I chose Him.
No, I'm not saying I always choose Him- I am by no means perfect (Lord knows I have issues with pride and selfishness…), but that moment in middle school was when I started conciously choosing to follow Jesus.
High school was actually a pretty good time for me- I stayed out of trouble, got good grades…. Actually, I was kind of obsessed with academics. I was in Scholar's Bowl (kind of like Jepoardy, but with 3 other people on your team… super nerdy), in the top math classes, I was also a band and choir geek… but I loved it. I hated missing school. Really, it was a pride thing. And an idenity thing. Which I had to deal with when I got to college. So I graduated high school top of my class (along with 5 (?) others who were all valedictorians with me), and I went off to Colorado Christian University.
CCU. Oh, how it has changed me forever. First off, I had to realize that I'm not the hardest-working OR smartest person on the planet… by far. And I had to realize that sometimes, putting off your homework so you can go out with your roomates and get to know people is OK. I learned how to be flexible. I learned that straight A's shouldn't be my #1 priority in life. I learned to see God's work in other people's lives and to praise Him for it. I learned to love learning about people, about economics, about math, about history… In short, God has broken me and strengthened me time and time again, and as hard as some of it has been, I wouldn't trade it for anything.
Also, because I feel I should just get it out now, I'm getting my Bachelor's degree in Mathematics (yeah… I know…) with a minor in Accounting and a minor in Music. Someday I'd like to be a math tutor, get my master's and maybe teach at a community college or a place like CCU. The Accounting minor is mostly just something for me to fall back on so I can work my way through grad school, and the Music minor… well, I just love music. 🙂
Anyways, I heard about the World Race (I think) during my second year at CCU from a good friend back in Kansas who has always had a heart for overseas missions. My first thought was "Wow. That's crazy… but I could never do it…" I had this moment where I tried to picture myself doing it- leaving for 11 months- but I didn't think it was for me. I thought I was going to finish school, get married, and become a high school math teacher. Overseas missions was out of the question.
But it kept nagging me. I'd just start thinking about it out of the blue, and the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to do it. I asked the people closest to me what they thought, and they always (with the exception of my family) responded with crazy excitement and said they could absolutely see me doing that and that I should apply, etc. I can't even give you a "this is why I chose to apply for the World Race"- type explanation. I wouldn't have pegged me as the person to do this sort of thing.
But long story short, after almost 2 years of praying, thinking, and reading blogs, I applied.
And here I am. Leaving my family and following God's calling in my life, even though I sound like a crazy person, even to myself.
Whaaaaaat??
And seriously, this semester has been crazy busy, but God's indescribable peace has been filling every moment of it, even amidst the doubt, stress, etc. It's weird. But I love it, and I can't even describe how blessed I feel!
So there you go. I'm leaving July 2013, giving all of myself to Him, and ready to see what He has planned, because my plans sure don't even compare.
