How was I called to the mission field? Ha! That is a question I have asked myself a time or two…
I am a picky, picky, picky eater. Really, for Lent I almost gave up microwavable food, but then I realized that that would probably cause me to starve to death so I went with something else…
I am also really clean. And very time conscientious. All things that anyone would tell you are going to be challenged and changed in me over the course of this journey… and to be honest, that makes me apprehensive sometimes.
I think though that while these things are very, very true of me, what is more true is that I know what it is to be rescued. I was telling a friend recently that I think the theme of my life is one of consistently being released from captivity, whether from anorexia in my early 20s, or the lie that attention and affection will satisfy my hungry soul, or the prison of shame and unbelief, I have seen over and over and over the truth of God's words to Moses in Exodus 3:7-8 where He says, “I have surely seen the affliction of my people who are in Egypt and have heard their cry because of their taskmasters. I know their sufferings, and I have come down to deliver them out of the hand of the Egyptians and to bring them up out of that land to a good and broad land, a land flowing with milk and honey…"
I believe with all my heart that the roads we walk towards Christ, filled as they are with sin and slavery and suffering, become the best places to do ministry… to teach what you've learned, to disciple, to plant, to water, to serve…
My own journey thus far has taught me that the Word is alive… that it heals and restores and convicts and binds up… that it is sufficient for every trouble… and that it is my guide for knowing God. I love that when I sit down with the Lord, He speaks to me because He wants me to know Him. I love that the gospel saves and that it changes me. The more I learn and experience, the more I am convinced that teaching people the Word is of the upmost importance to their spiritual life. Troubles and sufferings will come. What you stand on matters.
My heart aches when I think on who I would be in my soul — the desperation and fear that would rule — if I didn't know Christ and all that He is… So, that is why I am leaving… because I remember what it was like to doubt Him, to have no hope, to be desperate… and despite the fact that I am going to have to eat things that already make me feel sick, and leave my safe little world, I am certain that the sacrifice is worth it.
