‘Don’t get too attached!’
‘Break her heart!’
These are things that used to be shouted from the Nav
Christmas party peanut gallery. We would have a rousing game of White Elephant
where a gift could be stolen 3 times and then it was safe with the person who
had it. When a good gift was opened, the guys from the balcony of the Wirgau’s
house (hecklers much like the two old geezers from the Muppet Show) would yell
‘don’t get too attached’ to prepare the person for the gift to be stolen. When
it was time for someone else to steal the gift, they would start
chanting ‘break her/his heart’ to encourage an upstart in the gift giving
chain.
The World Race is starting to feel like this game of White Elephant. We learned last night, from a TEXT MESSAGE,
the night before Thanksgiving (Happy Holidays O-Squad), that they are switching
our teams again. Again. Yes, this team that you cried over, submitted to Jesus,
prayed for, struggled through and finally, just finally started to walk in real
love and community with… that team- they are going to change again.
We have 4 days more of ministry here, and I am giving a
sermon/teaching tomorrow (on God knows what, literally), and I cannot pour into
these things. My mind and
emotional capacity are spent right now. (Last night was the second night on the
Race that I have had a spontaneous laughing-crying spell from overflow of
emotions that I didn’t know how to deal with. Both cases were the fruit of team
changes.)
My leader Alex and I have walked this whole thing together
so far as he was the only remaining member from my last team that they kept
consistent. So, 6 months of Alex Cole and we will openly admit that we pretty
much went from enemies, to ‘maybe you aren’t so bad’, to ‘we get along’, to ‘friend’.
It took 6 months to build and we are finally at a good place.
It’s hard to think about the things that are going on in my
heart and the hearts of my team members. The things the Lord has been doing and
we are just starting to get into. I’m glad I got to have feedback last night
where I literally read my journal to my team about what the Lord was showing me
about beauty and pursuing my heart. We didn’t receive said text message until
after that… and the question on everyone’s heart is ‘how do we keep pouring
into this?’ Even for the next 4 days, the temptation is already to start checking
out. Why share it with this team that will be gone in a number of hours and
then I will have to start all over again? I’m a girl that builds long-term
relationships. I’m a girl that it takes a little while to feel at all known.
Surface relationships and comments mean nothing to me.
Once again, I make the only choice I have control over in
all of this. It’s the choice to trust Jesus. But right now I’m sad about it. Hope you had a happy Thanksgiving!
