The past week has been a long emotional roller coaster. That’s pretty accurate as roller coasters have both highs and lows and are fun because they are scary.
The first part of this week was spent at a worship conference here with AIM, called The Awakening. The times in worship were wonderful… I got to do a lot of praying and hearing from God and my heart was encouraged. He spoke to me specifically about my role as His daughter and how much He loves me. He is bringing me freedom in areas of lies I have believed about myself. He is reminding me that He is speaking all the time, and His thoughts toward me outnumber the sands on the sea. If all of that isn’t enough fun, it was also just amazing to get to jump around with my fellow squadmates and the other 4 World Race squads that were here. (Sidenote: if you are looking for a bearded man that is passionate for Jesus, this would be the place to find him.)
So… heart was feeling pretty full. Enter, ‘debrief’. Debrief is like when you are playing a video game and you are doing pretty good- got lots of coins and make it to level 2. In level 2, there are more obstacles and challenges and your first thought is ‘how much ‘health/life’ do I have stored up to face all these new challenges?’
Answer: more than I think I have.
Good, cause here comes the challenge. They revamped teams on us. The last 2-3 months have been spent investing relationally with my team and Umoja (which is another team that we were partnered with more often than not). My heart is really hurting to say goodbye to my former teammates and see them start over with new friends. I feel more challenged already on my new team, which is good, but sobering.
When they announced teams we went off to process with the Lord for a bunch of hours. What this meant for me was crying for most of the time, asking Him questions, telling Him my sadness, crying, crying, more crying. (Maybe this level instead of collecting gold coins you collect tears? Not sure, but if so, I am about to win the game.)
I walked, listened to my iPod, cried some more and ended up in a beautiful rose garden. Didn’t I come to grow? Didn’t I come to be stretched, challenged, and encouraged into becoming the woman I am called to be? Then you can sure bet this team (and just getting me out of my comfort zone in general but switching it up) is going to do it.
On the way out of the garden I passed a field of baby trees that were all being supported by planks. They were growing in strength, they needed to be held up and encouraged the way to grow. After that, I passed a whole bunch of rock star huge trees. I mean, huge trees… like can-we-build-Lothlorien-in-these-trees huge trees. And I felt the question was posed. ‘Carrie, do you want to be a big tree?’ Yes. ‘Then simmer down, cause this is going to help you in becoming.’
God has pretty trump arguments, so I relented on this one. Still a little sad (which is good cause it means I have loved and been loved) but really excited for what God has for me and my new team. We had our first hardcore meeting yesterday and the Lord is already moving in hearts. Excitement in me is growing. With that, I would love to announce my new team: (drumrole please…) Tracy ‘I eat cookies for breakfast’ Hagar, Kim ‘I play the ukulele for fun’ Hurt, Emily ‘I ask a lot of questions’ Moss, Ashley ‘showers are for the weak’ Rose, Matt Delaney (a.k.a. Gilmore), and a veteran team member, I am under the stellar leadership of Alex Cole again.
Regardless of my rollar coaster emotions about this transition, I am super stoked about each of these new team members. And I am excited for what God will do with and through us. We leave tomorrow to fulfill my lifelong goal of traveling to Africa. My team will be in Eldoret, which is thankfully (literally) ‘on the map’ which means we might actually find the internet occasionally.
I solicit your prayers, for my heart in this transition, for traveling mercies to Africa, for our time and ministry in Africa (this is the part where the trip gets really hardcore in things like bucket baths, and no power, and strange food, and completely different spiritual stuff), and for the bonding of my new team. Thank you for sharing life with me and for reading this whole blog. Grace and peace to you and I’ll update next from Eldoret.
