Today I got shots for Polio, Hepatitis A, Typhoid, Tetanus, Meningitis, and Yellow Fever. The Typhoid had a pill option (which I took). But that left five, count em, FIVE remaining shots. I almost cried. Really.
The guy at the Travel Center ended our consultation time by saying ‘Okay, we’re going to go get those shots ready. One will go in your arm. The other four will go in your muscle.’ And then he left. What did mean my muscle? Which muscle? DOES HE MEAN MY BUTT? (Enter 10 minutes of stream of consciousness self-consciousness.)
He did not, in fact, mean my butt. (sigh of relief) Three in one arm. Two in the other. The last one felt like fire going in. Can I please get a Fire shot? Please?
This is the passport of immunizations that I get to carry around for the next year. I’m actually sort of proud of it. I earned it like a true soldier. No crying, no whining. In the end the guy did not even charge me for the 2 hour consultation but just said ‘we want you to be safe’ and only charged me for the vaccines at cost.
The whole thing would have been better if these had been present:
Giselle, Spiderman, and Strawberry Shortcake make everything better.
Thank you, Jesus for the discounted prices today.
Thank you, Jesus that no shots were in my butt.
Thank you, Jesus that I didn’t cry or pass out or do anything else humiliating.
Thank you, Jesus.
(Pretty sure I am now also immune to kryptonite, scurvy, tuberculosis, small pox, and the black plague.)
Yours truly,
Bionic Woman
