I’ve been thinking about how to word this blog for a few days now, so I hope that you’ll bear with me and that it will all come together in the end.
When I first heard that I had been accepted to go on the Trafficking trip I was so excited, but something inside of me was cautious about sharing with those I felt closest to. I wasn’t ashamed [far from it!], but I was placing too much value on what their opinion/reaction would be without even knowing it at the time.
Many of the responses I got didn’t line up exactly with how I thought things would go. Don’t get me wrong, I have been overwhelmed with support, encouragement and excitement from many people and yes, sometimes I was met with caution and worry for my safety, but some of them left me feeling hurt and discouraged.
I was let down and taking it personally.
I couldn’t imagine why they wouldn’t support me in this.
It took a few days, but what I realized is that this isn’t about me. This isn’t about the “big sacrifice” I’m making by going without a paycheck, living out of a backpack or going into some of the darkest places in the world.
This is about God.
This is about obeying His command.
This is about Him receiving the glory!
This is about being His hands and feet.
Yes, I am surrendering my life to the Creator of the Universe, but that is not a sacrifice, that is not something I need people to pat me on the back and say “Good job!” about. That is an honor and a privilege.
What God showed me is that when it comes down to it, I don’t need people’s approval at all. Maybe some people think I’m inadequate, that I’ve messed up one too many times and that I’m not cut out for this and well, they would be right on all accounts.
But God sees a beautiful daughter who has been washed in the Blood of the Lamb, that is so in love with Jesus and is ready and willing to serve.
And that’s what this is about – God’s grace and mercy, the beautiful gift of redemption we have through Jesus’ sacrifice and living out true faith, which as Francis Chan puts it in Crazy Love means holding nothing back and putting every hope in God’s fidelity to His promises.
This all goes back to God and that’s exactly how it should be!
