On Sunday morning, we sat in the wooden stilted church and listened to the church bell calling all in the village to come to worship.
My mind floated to those I met in the Karen Hilltribe. The little old grandmothers in their traditional garb who spoke only Karen so our limited Thai was lost on them, the students who giggled so much during our English classes, and the family that we stayed with who loved us like Christ and taught us to farm. And with Monday being our exit day, I knew that I would miss the cool mountain air, the smell of pine, the dirt between my toes (since I stopped wearing my shoes the second day), and the little four-day-old piglets that I would sneak off to pet. I would miss the walks surrounded by nature and rice patties, and I would miss the quiet.
Without the bustle of the city, with all of it’s convenient distractions, I was forced to face the heart of a few issues. I found myself walling up again, and not wanting to admit my struggle with what I termed at the time “Melancholy”. Which turned into general withdrawal and frustration when I couldn’t withdraw since my friends loved me too much.
When I finally broke down and asked for prayer, I found my word for the month. I couldn’t quite tell what God wanted to teach me. I knew it had something to do with stepping back, trusting that He had it all, and observing His goodness. Trying less, and loving more. But I didn’t know the word. After prayer, my teammate read a Psalm over me, and David was letting God fight his battle. I knew that I needed to do that, because fighting on my own was both wearisome and inefficient, like pushing against a boulder. David said “I will wait on the LORD.” AHA! My word is wait. I cannot keep taking things into my own hands but instead I need to wait upon the Lord.
And it only took a 5 hour drive in the rain on curvy mountain roads in a SongTaow with a stinky Durian to figure that one out. Haha. God is Good. And I can’t thank him enough for what He has done for me this week.
For more photos, see http://carolinesadventuresinlife.blogspot.com/ and also keep in mind that I am still fundraising. Any gift you can give does make a difference.
