After almost 8 months of living like a short term missionary…I realized I have a lot of stress. Lately it hasn’t been in the form of chest pains and shakes like it was in Africa. But it has been slowly creeping up…
I realize that with all of our free time this month, I could have been more active to build relationships here or make my own ministry outside the box. But I frankly haven’t been willing to be bothered to work. I am just tired. So tired.
So after another rough day of teaching my five year old Chinese girl (who I now think has a learning disability), I went into another day getting told at the last minute that I would be teaching three middle-school boys. I taught some conversation English, and then we played Carrom (I haven’t played that since the riots kept us in the orphanage in India). Sleep wasn’t coming easy and on our last day of teaching this week I felt that I was basically a glorified babysitter. We had five kids in our class and I had them draw their favorite animals/dinosaurs and read a book.
When you get tired, you go to mama. I Skyped her and cried for a while. I told her I was tired, lonely, and felt that I wasn’t doing much and wanted to go home… again.
She encouraged me as usual, and I of course knew that I would be okay sticking it out. And after another really bad night of sleep, we headed out for our day off in Cameron Highlands.
Though carsickness mixed with no sleep for 3 days sent me running off the bus to dry-heave over a storm drain, I was determined to have a good time. And when we arrived in the Highlands, I knew it was going to be okay. We had real beds (compared to the floor for a while), and the temperature was cooler.
And it felt good to have a day off. You see, we have had a lot of free time, but it is hard to get out of a missionary mindset. Down-time doesn’t equal rest. And here in the Highlands, I didn’t have to be a missionary with a team. I could be a tourist with friends. After living like a short term missionary for the long term, you realize how blessed are the moments when you can rest, truly rest.
So we enjoyed moments at the Mossy Forest, the BOH tea plantation, and strawberry picking at the farm. What blessed moments. And how excited am I for another night in a real bed? Maybe too excited to sleep… haha.
