Daddy you created my heart to feel so much.
Joy
Laughter
Uncontrollable giggles
Delight in the little things
Warmth at the sight of your children
But
You also bring my heart to points of feeling like it will
break and tear from pain and hurt, why?
My thoughts turn and my chest aches. All the the thoughts of what
I have seen today, of what I saw in Rwanda.
Why Daddy?
Why genocide?
Why War?
Why Murder and rape?
These things tear at my heart and I feel like someone has
punched my chest.
There is this overwhelming emotion that takes over me and I
just cry out in my heart that it HAS TO STOP.
Breathing hurts
Each genocide museum talks with such eloquence about
learning from the death of the millions already slaughtered, yet is it not
happening today?
Are there not genocides happening as we speak?
What is
being done?
How often does it really fill my thoughts? – A reality that makes
me sick to digest because those who die each day deserve to be more than a fleeting thought.
Why are their lives not worth saving NOW? before they are
just another memorial where people go to pay their respects for not acting
sooner.
These are things my heart just doesn’t understand.
What about the children
running
screaming
and dying today?
What about the women murdered and raped today?
I don’t know these answers and they haunt my heart.
My heart seems tormented, like it is just not capable of
functioning with this reality, but it has to, it does. I have been given a
heart to be here beating in this moment. I could have so easily been one of
them, born then and there. Killed, murdered, but I wasn’t, so I have to do all I
can to make sure that with each beat I live a life worthy of the blessing I
have been given.
The blessing of being safe.
Haunted by awareness,
Caroline
