It just was so….
holy.
I think that’s the best I can do to explain these last
eleven months of my life that led me around the world alongside over crazy
radicals. I don’t know how else
really to describe the year in all that it was. It’s those holy moments in each of our lives that we
struggle the most to explain to another person because, for the most part, if
they weren’t there, they probably won’t be able to understand all that
happened. So I struggle to write
what this year meant to me because the year was so intimate and had such depth
of impact in my life that it’s hard to put it into coherent words.
I’m different. I knew that walking on that plane eleven months ago would change
everything. I don’t think I
realized the fire that would have to be undergone to come out more
refined. But I knew it was going
to happen because, if nothing else, I am stubborn enough that I wasn’t going to
let eleven months go by without change.
The year did just that; it changed me to the very core. I became alive in the Spirit and began
living by its leading and voice. I
learned that the kingdom is about life and death, and not right and wrong. That we have the power, authority, and
opportunity to change this world and invade it with Kingdom. That foremost we are here on earth to
be loved by the one who is Love. That there’s a battle to be fought and in the end we win this thing,
guaranteed. That community is one
of the hardest and most incredible gifts God gives us. That we need to begin living as sons
and daughters of a God who is living, active, and manifesting all over this
place. That it is the unseen,
spiritual realities of this world that we need to focus on. That I need to channel my emotions and
life into things that really matter so I get less angry at the person cutting
me off on the road and more enraged with the fact Indian girls are sold for 75
dollars into slavery…and then go do something about it. That you’ll always be called by God to do the things that you could never do on your own. That a generation is arising all over this world who is living filled and anointed by
the Spirit of God and is forcefully advancing the Kingdom, taking back the
territory unrightfully controlled by the enemy and claiming their rightful
inheritance of Heaven invading earth.
More than anything, I learned that this is what I am giving
my life to. Not a successful
career track, a huge bank account, the understanding of peers and people of
influence in this world, or a comfortable home and secure life.
Just one thing. Kingdom.
Now that I’m home, I’ve often been asked about how hard and
difficult the transition must be. There are definitely the moments of pure frustration and feeling
overwhelmed by the conversations and surroundings of this place. But really, I’m just ready to GO. The
blogs I wrote this year about my heart that is dreaming of seeing an awakened
generation come to be didn’t stop the minute I returned to America. In fact, the dreams have all but
intensified now that I’m here.
I’m serious about this.
I want to play my part in it. I don’t want to look back five years from now wondering what
“could have happened” if only I had stepped out and kept going after the race was
finished. The race was incredible,
but it’s not the pinnacle experience of my life from here on out. I want to keep going on this wild
journey and it’s the question of “what could be” that stir in me the most
right now. What really could come
to be if only we started living life alive and fulfilling our destinies?
I’m stirring with a restlessness that just wants to keep
doing this thing, seeing where God leads, and walking sensitively to the Spirit’s
guidance. I know I’ve only
scratched the surface and there is so much more to all of this to be discovered. And at the end of the day, I want to
know what the “more” of life and kingdom is more than pretty much anything
else….
So…
I’m going.
I’m walking this thing out. I’m going to keep praying forth kingdom from this place and
see what happens and what comes to be. This year was a holy year for me. A year of face-to-face intimacy with my
Abba. And ultimately, it was about
one thing.
Kingdom. His Kingdom.
