this is really happening.

Crazy. 
 

What's crazier is that I spent yesterday crammed into a bus with 50-something people winding the through the hills of Guatemala. 

I'm still recovering from that one. 

The last few weeks have been a whirlwind. Said goodbye to my family (again) as I headed to Georgia to spend a week with a few amazing women from my old squad. Then made my way to Chicago for Launch, where all four September squads gathered together for a few days for some teachings and worship before heading out into the nations as vessels of the Kingdom. And now I find myself in the town of Quiche, Guatemala. 

My mind has yet to catch up with my body.
 

Yet amidst the craziness and the subtle reality checks of what I've gotten myself into, I cant help but be overwhelmed by thankfulness. 

My Father has given me the gift of life, one rooted in His unconditional love, and I'm going to savor every minute of it. 
 

Even in the moments when this role of leading 60+ people feels to0 big for me and I dont know what the heck I'm doing. 
Even when it seems like everything is going wrong or not the way I expected. 
Even when I'm exhausted and feel as though I have nothing left to give. 
Even when I fall flat on my face after trying to do things on my own strength. 
Even when I am a broken, hot mess trying to release the lies in order to embrace my true identity as His Beloved. 
Even in the moments of struggle that is dying to self so I may come fully alive in Jesus. 
 

Because even in the hardest, ugliest, messiest moments Jesus is there with me, making me beautiful by the relentless power of His love and grace. 
 

Every day is full of gifts from the Father's heart- its our choice to receive them and to cling to them as the life they give to our dry bones. There is heavenly beauty rising from the ashes if only we'd lift our eyes to see it. 

So not only is He entrusting me to lead this amazing squad to the place they are meant to go, He is leading me to the place I am meant to go. Deeper into His heart. The Kingdom. My identity. And though oftentimes I feel in way over my head, there is no where else I'd rather be. There's nothing else I'd rather be doing. He has chosen me for this, putting me here for a reason, and so I will live it up to its fullest. 

Jesus gave all of Himself for me, so I will give all of myself for Him. 

May you today find yourself in awe of the gift of life our Father in heaven has chosen you to live. No one can live it better than you!