Meanwhile back in Orlando, Florida a Hispanic boy with funky hair is sitting in a coffee shop taking in his last 10 days that changed the way he now proceeds to live his life. His name is Carlos Lopez and he is a no longer a slave to fear,he knows he is a child of God. Here are his thoughts…
I thought I was well prepared going into training camp after reading countless blogs and watching endless recap videos but nothing could prepare me for what I just experienced. The past 10 days have been jam packed with life lessons from leaders, mentors, guest speakers, and a community of squad mates who challenge me to be a better version of myself. I embarked on this kingdom journey thinking I was coming into it with an open mindset only to discover I had been closed off and unexposed to so much. Here are some revelations and standout moments that God really paved away into my heart.
Everyone has a different story but something we all have in common is God.
I found myself surrounded by 27 different men and women of God all with different stories and different personalities but what really threw me off was how different our church backgrounds were. Though I may come off as a very extroverted individual I feel as thought I know how to approach and interact with people who have an opposite personality to mine. And when it comes to hearing people’s stories I’ve heard so many testimonies there are very few that come to any shock value to me and have come to accept people despite the junk they have in their life. Everyone deserved to be heard and loved. What was really catching me off guard was being around other men and women of God and hearing them curse or talk about their favorite beer. I’d have moments where my mind would pause and then try to process what I’m hearing. Back home for me and the leadership I’m a part of we don’t use profane language and abstain from the use of alcohol. That is the leadership I’m under so that’s what I abide too. I was then trying to process the idea of living with these people for a year and them having the occasional beer and the words that are just a part of their everyday vocabulary and it didn’t really bother me as much as I thought it would. These were still very impactful men and women of God being obedient to God’s call over their life.
Another thing was how different some of us encountered God and were in tuned to the power of The Holy Spirit. The camp services and worship times were very familiar to me back at home. As for others they would have very difficult times adjusting to worship or other concepts of the Holy Spirit. Some that grew up in really southern baptists or Presbyterian would feel uncomfortable at times. They were either use to singing hymns or couldn’t grasp the freedom that worship can bring. For me I connect to the Holy Spirit in worship and completely forget about everyone else and can dance, jump, and fall to my knees in the presence of God but it took time to comfortably do that in a crowded room. And I would look around the room and see a lot of my old self. There was the looks of uncertainty, looks of discomfort, studious looks, and so forth. But as time went on people began to lower their walls and were allowing themselves to be open to a new experience despite what they have been raised in. I would have many a conversations with my fellow squad mates about their new experiences and the growing pains they were feeling from being stretched.
At the end of those 10 days my eyes were opened to how much there really is a separation in church and how much I have not been exposed too. I know personally I had an issue with people who went to church and still used profane language and would consume alcohol. It bothered me that they would leave our church just to go to a church where it was more acceptable but at the end of the day they still chose God and it’s a beautiful thing. These 28 people I’m doing life with for the next year are some of the most beautiful souls I’ve ever encountered despite their church backgrounds and convictions. I know that God called them just how He called me. And I know God will use them just how He plans to use me. I realize that now. We may go to different churches but we serve the same God and for the longest I was missing that.
True Masculinity comes from vulnerability to our fellow man.
Growing up without a father or male role model in my life it was something I struggled for a really long time in my life. I didn’t piece that together until training camp. Over the past years I have identified my different areas I’ve faced trials and struggles in but I never really correlated it to masculinity until training camp. It was the third day of camp where we instructed to go spend some personal alone time with God and reflect on areas we struggle in and come back to our squad and talk about it. God had so much to say to me in that hour. Before training camp I felt I was in a really dry place with God and got to consumed in fundraising that I didn’t make enough time to spend hearing from Him. At camp it was a different story, I heard Him loud and clear knew when He was prompting me to do things that there was no way denying that wasn’t God. It just took me to a place where I was going to have to be really vulnerable a lot sooner than I thought I was going to be.
I’m sitting with a group of guys I just met three days ago and God wanted me to spill my life story to them. Before I went they all went and said really awesome things but finished in like 30 seconds and I was the last to go. I knew that mine was going to be way longer than 30 seconds. I prefaced that I was about to go to a really vulnerable place and tap into my testimony to help them better understand who I am and the process it took be the person I am today. I told them things that I thought I wasn’t going to reveal till month three or four on the race but God kept confirming to me that this was a safe place. I finished spilling my heart out and was so nervous as to what they thought of me afterword but then each one of them had affirming words to speak to me. They helped me to realize that the world has this ideal look as to what masculinity looks like but they said what I did in being vulnerable spoke volumes on masculinity than anything else. Even a day later on our man hike on the mountain Seth Barnes spoke about that same topic and identified with me that as men we need to come to a place of vulnerability with our fellow men of God to truly be a man. From there forth we as men asked the tough questions that ultimately challenged each other to not compromise our integrity. Never have I seen a group of men ask such audacious things out of each other to such a level of authenticity. This! This is what real accountability looked like, not the surface level stuff that leaves foot holes for compromise. There was no margin for error and we really fought for that with each other. We climbed a mountain together as men and came down as brothers in arms. I know now that I have nine other men of God who will fight the good fight alongside me.
Community and knowing your fellow man is far more greater than the tasks at hand.
Living in community with my fellow World Racers was definitely an awakening for me. The way they make you live at training camp is completely reliant of the people around you from the get go. As soon you’re setting up for camp you have people left and right offering to help you fix your tent or set up your hammock. There would be times where someone would mention they forget something and the next moment someone is coming up to you with that very item in their hand. Some had watches and were relied on to get us up in the morning or make sure we’re not late to our next activity. We were also faced with real life scenarios where “half of our luggage got lost”. We immediately asked each other, “What do you need?, Who needs to bunk with me?, Do you need shorts to sleep in?” Every need was filled in an instant. We even had to eat in community. We would get served a portion of food and we had to divide it among eight other people. Some were left still hungry but someone usually had a Cliff bar handy to share with you and you felt loved immediately. We took care of each other not out of obligation but out of love for one another. I was blown away to be surrounded by such selfless people. There wasn’t a moment I felt lonely or distant. I was constantly surrounded by someone walking from place to place on the camp grounds. We truly were doing life with each other. It taught me that I can lean on my brother to my right and my sister to my left instead of trying to constantly do things on my own. If I was ever in a weak moment there was plenty to cover up the slack. It felt good to not feel the weight was resting on my shoulders.
Another aspect was when we were given different tasks and games to complete to organize team formations. The tasks weren’t easy and we would usually have an allotted time to complete it. When it comes to this stuff my competitive drive gets the best of me. I immediately want to be the first group done. I usually started to dive head first and get our team to victory. When we did finish I felt great and they would have us do it again with a handicap and we would get it done again. Then we would debrief about it and they would help us to realize that it wasn’t about getting the task done but working together. One person does not make a team. As we debriefed some team members voiced that they didn’t feel heard or that we were really unorganized about the way we were coming about doing things in the beginning. And my heart would sink whenever anyone said that. I realized that I didn’t value my team members and just wanted to finish. This just didn’t happen one time but multiply times and I was getting so frustrated with myself. I’m a person who loves people but I was letting my pride get aside because I felt like I had something to prove to our leaders and mentors. It wasn’t till the very end that I started to take everyone else into consideration and ask them what they’re strengths are to better contribute everyone. That it was better to leave a task uncompleted and have everyone feel useful than to step on people to finish and realize you did more harm than good.
And it was through these things that God did a mighty work with in me. I came into this thinking I was a person who was well off in His walk with God and not much more to learn but I had everything to learn and have been humbled beyond belief. There were countless people at training camp that were teaching me life lessons I so desperately needed. I didn’t want to leave because I have never experienced so many revelations about my personal life in a span of 10 days. I also got close to 27 other people I knew nothing about and now would do absolutely anything for. I honestly don’t know how I’ve been living without them. They are strong, prayerful, gifted, conquerors, wise, cunning, adventurous, joyous, triumphant, loving, and mine for the next year of my life. They are an answered prayer to say the least.
Now I have 6 more weeks to apply the things I experienced this week and not let it be a God moment but the momentum that starts me on the first leg of the race in China! God is not concerned with my comforts, it’s time for abandonment.
“To know Jesus, you have to learn how to leave. In the end, leaving is the finding.”
–Seth Barnes
