Fundraising is hard. everyone that has ever had to do it knows that. there is something inside us that hates asking for things… o i guess that’s called pride. and there seems, especially, to be this natural dis-attraction to asking for money… i guess that may be greed. Our mentality of money has developed as such a disillusion over the course of its history. we have developed this selfishness that we can hold on to it forever, and what little or lot that i have is mine, i “earned” it and i’m going to hold onto it as long and as tight as i can. Which seems silly to me because money is just a cycle. it cycles in and out of distribution and in and out of our pockets every single day. it will be created,distributed, spent, and re-distributed, constantly flowing. because whatever action you make has an equal or greater action, or in this case whatever purchases you make will have some sort of production. (whether that production directly benefits you or directly creates and emotion, like giving money to someone asking for a couple quarters on the street, that would create an emotion, and produce some servant-hood) But this post is not intended to talk to much about money. i just wanted to share my emotional status about fundraising right now
Every time someone asks me how fundraising is going or how much money i have raised it is a little hard. I am definitely unable to express the amount of gratitude i have toward everyone that has donated, and all the money i have so far, but 16,000 is a big number. It is hard to be super excited about 2.550 when you realize that you still have around 13,500 left to raise. you start to develop a bitterness. People that have raised funds know what im talking about. every single thing you buy you think i could have put that towards the race, or every cent i earn at work i just want to deposit into my adventures account. but i cant do that, i still have responsibilities, i still have bills. that’s why i need help. which is something really hard for me to ask for. Another part of the bitterness is the fundraising “gaze” you talk to people who say they cant support you, and then at the same meeting they buy a $9 cup of jo… this is definitely where the bitterness starts seeping in. haha but we have to accept it, and be grateful for the prayer supporters, because honestly i wouldn’t have a dime if there were no prayer involved. so some days are harder than others but the miraculous thing is God. every time i tell people about how fundraising is going, although i dread it, God has always just provided me with something to tell them, about how its going slow but just yesterday i got a large donation or an anonymous one, or even given me a large tip at work. and i have to Praise God because although it is a slow process and sometimes it doesn’t seem like any money is coming in, god is making something happen. and i trust Him. sometimes it just feels like im in it all alone, which is stupid i know, but feel free to encourage me and let me know im not. Love you guys, thanks for reading and praying for me.
