This thought about marriage popped in my head the other night. i have never had a desire to get married. its not something that i am opposed to, or even given a thought to. it’s just never been a topic in my mental vocabulary. But the other night i started thinking about it in terms of something i would be okay with. But not a marriage that is the culturally accepted marriage, something greater. So i wrote this, just my thoughts…
I have accepted the idea that marriage is something that i think i could want. It has always seemed like an awful example of love in our society. well it has been an awful example of love in our society. it is rarely done right and it is often blasphemed upon by people. Think about assertions so many people have made common about marriage. “Your signing up for the last form or legal slavery”, “the good ole’ ball and chain”, “the last woman/man you’ll ever sleep with.. :O”, “i did it for the tax deductions.” It also doesn’t help that i have never really seen a successful marriage or even relationship, until my later young adult years. But i think i have finally come to terms with marriage.
I want it, but only a marriage that is completely selfless. A marriage that doesn’t have to do with pleasing myself, or satisfying a culture or group of people. I want a marriage only if it is an example of a beautiful love and selflessness. A marriage that’s only purpose is to show and exude a comparison to the sacrifice and unconditional love Christ has shown to us. Not just because i have been dating someone for x amount of time, or because its what is supposed to come next; right after graduation and right before buying a house. There has been a common misconception that marriage is about us. Don’t misunderstand me, there is plenty an individual should and can learn from marriage, but it is not a self-knowledge, it is what God is teaching you through your spouse and family and example of marriage. Marriage is anything but the individual, it defines the union of two things. making the ultimate desicion to leave yourself behind and merge with another. You are no longer just you, there is another part of you, another person.
How is that not a perfect example of the reliance and commitment to Christ. Once you have allowed God to Marriage into your life it is no longer about you. The Holy Spirit thrives inside us. How can we be selfish once we realize that we are not the most important thing in our lives, or the lives of those around us. This is the kind of marriage i desire. I don’t want to lust after a marriage just to have a companion, or to have sex, or have my own house and china set. Those things can be benefits of marriage, but they could not be enough of a reward against the difficulties and struggles that a Godly marriage can be, because all of those things are just selfish desires, and God requires a marriage to be the example of selflessness. If you don’t have the mentality of what a marriage should be before you try and have one, then you will just be disappointed, because you’ll learn that its not about pleasing yourself.
I want to live a selfless life. And if i ever get married i want to accept the challenge of a selfless marriage, that shows a comparison of selflessness in a body. We should think of our church as a union, its good practice. Lets leave ourselves behind and put our family and Christ first.
