dear college me.

I live in Gainesville, Georgia and I work for a division of Adventures In Missions called Kingdom Dreams.  I love my job (most days).  

This blog is not about my job.  

What it ended up becoming was a much different experience, altogether.  

The lights were down; there was a couch sitting expectantly under the soft glow of the spotlights.  We were told that the theme of the video was, “Dear college me…”.  Essentially, if you could go back in time and talk to your “college self”, (a-la Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure), what would you say?

At first, this seemed like a fairly basal, trivial, even whimsical concept.  I immediately thought back to the stereotypical college weekends with friends and the kinds of lighthearted, forgiveable offenses like sneaking into the football stadium late at night or playing “campus golf.”  

But as the cameras started to roll, I thought deeper.  I thought about who I was just a few short years ago and how the me that I am now would look at him.  How would I talk to him?  What would I do differently?  Sure I could reminisce with him about the “good times,” but what about the bad?  What wisdom have I gained from my mistakes and shortcomings that I would pass on?  What stories do my scars tell?

Needless to say, I did not show up to this “shoot” prepared for this level of emotional unpacking, but I just went with it.  A testament to one of the many lessons the past two years have taught me, I have learned to trade deflection and walls for openness, availability, and transparency.  I have become more comfortable with my story, and telling it, because I know where it has brought me – that it ultimately lead to growth, acceptance, and empowerment.  

So I sat on that couch and poured myself out.  I told my “college self” things like, “you have greatness inside of you,” “you are more than the sum of your achievements,” “the things people say about you are absolutely insignificant compared to the things your Heavenly Father says about you,” and “someday soon, you will change the world.”  I told myself that it’s ok to hurt, to make mistakes, and to get it wrong.  That he is strong enough to become the man he wants to be, but he cannot do it on his own.  That in every interaction and every relationship, you have the ability to speak death, or to bring life.  

To be completely honest, that day, in the middle of my office, spotlight on, cameras rolling, I grieved for my college self.  I grieved for the hardship, pain, confusion, and loss.  I grieved over the years spent letting myself believe lies.  I grieved the relationships I failed and the people I took for granted.  I grieved the neglect I had for the Holy Spirit of God inside me and for ignoring His voice.  

But then I rejoiced.  I was reminded that the story didn’t end there.  I take comfort in the process, and I take joy in the adventure.  I was not left feeling lost or alone.  Those years have been redeemed.  

And now I get to share that not only with my “college self,” but with the world.  My hope is that through this video I get to share that message with college men and women like me who are confused, believing lies, or maybe are just settling.  My belief is that my life is a powerful story and that I have been given a voice to share it.  That in the same way God used amazing, transformed, redeemed men and women to salvage my story, I can be a part of doing the same in the lives of others. 

This is not (necessarily) a blog about my job at Adventures in Missions – although I am privileged to have the opportunity to be a part of speaking truth into the lives of young men and women daily.  But it’s more than just a job.  This is about my privilege as a redeemed story and an empowered son.  

I hope you enjoy the video, some amazing people put it together.  Please pass it on to anyone you think needs to hear its message, but especially college men and women who might be looking for something more.  

Thank you for being part of my story.