We’ve been in Thailand for about 2 weeks now. The first week was orientation to life on the field and with our ministry contact, Emmi. All week we heard about the different ministries Emmi operates out of her coffee shop: bar ministry (ministering to prostitutes and lady boys), operating her café, and working in a nearby village. All of this sounded great. Emmi spoke about the ministries with such passion and conviction. I was so excited to begin.
Then my team got our ministry assignment. Worship.
It had never been mentioned as a possibility and honestly I didn’t really know what it meant. We were being asked to worship the Lord all across Chiang Mai. Early in the morning, late at night and any time in between. Worship could look however we wanted it to. It could be an outward expression through song, or spoken word, or art. Or it could be a more personal expression by reading scripture or praying. Really it could be any way we wanted to connect with the Lord. No structure. No rules.
If you know me, you know how much I LOVE structure. I am a rule follower. This was going to be a whole new challenge. I was prepared to dig in, get dirty and love on people around the world. I wasn’t ready to step back, watch and pray.
The first day was tough. Our team tried to create structure out of nothing and it just didn’t work. Any attempt we made to define worship and develop a plan to make it happen just became a mess. I felt like I was drowning in all of the freedom we’d been given but it was our ministry for the next few weeks so I knew I needed to try to embrace it.
During my first early morning prayer walk, I struggled to concentrate. I struggled to focus. I struggled to feel like I was actually doing anything. Then I thought of Mary and Martha.
In Luke, there is the story of sisters Mary and Martha. Mary and Martha are so different. Martha is the do-er. She cooks. She cleans. She leaves no task undone. Mary on the other hand gets lost in good conversation. She can’t resist Jesus when he comes to visit while Martha busies herself getting everything ready for dinner. When Martha gets mad that Mary isn’t helping, Jesus tells her “Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her." (Luke 10:41-42)
Usually I’m Martha all the way but I felt the Lord prompting me…Be Mary, choose what is better, right now being in my presence is what I have for you and that is better than anything
you might choose to do on your own.
As much as I wanted to DO something, I knew this was what the Lord wanted from me this month and I needed to press into it or I would be missing out. Sometimes it’s still a struggle because I don’t see tangible rewards, I’m not creating lots of relationships but I do get to spend hours worshiping the God of the universe, praying and reading my Bible.
I can remember days when I was working so much it was hard to carve out any time to spend with the Lord. This month my job, my purpose for the day, is to delight in the presence of the Lord, pray over my squadmates who are being the hands and feet of Jesus all over town and invite His presence to every corner of Chiang Mai. It really doesn’t get much better than that.
It took an actual assignment for me to push myself out of doing and into just being with God, but it doesn’t have to be that way. I’d encourage you, are there things you could give up or time that could be better spent just worshiping and delighting in the presence of the Lord? I promise you won’t regret it.
