Disclaimer: This ended up being waaaaay longer than I originally planned. But, I wrote what was on my heart. And this story is an important part of my spiritual journey and decision to go on the World Race. It became a long stream of consciousness, so stick with me!
For more than a year God has laid a specific piece of scripture on my heart.
Luke 10:2:
And he said to them, 'The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few. Therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest.'
I heard this verse every week last summer while working on Summer Staff with World Changers. It was a verse used in a video during the Concert of Prayer by an international missionary. My heart broke each time I heard it. I was uncertain about a lot of things in my life at that time. But the one thing I was certain about was that God had something big planned for me.
Shortly after, I began my senior year of college. It was a tough year, because my school was going through a transition that I didn't necessarily agree with. Now, I've discussed this situation many, many times, but feel like I've never really talked about what I went through personally, and how I grew from it. So, for those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, here's some background:
I went to Shorter University. A small, private, Southern Baptist, liberal arts institution. Sounds like an oxymoron, right? I chose Shorter because of the beautiful, inviting campus, friendly students, competent professors, and outstanding theatre and fine arts programs. I love theatre and the arts. I believe God gave me a gift and a passion for theatre for a reason, and I felt lead to pursue a theatre performance degree at Shorter. I felt confident that this was where God wanted me. My first two years of college were wonderful. I learned and grew so much in my chosen field. I established life-long relationships with my peers and professors. None of my teachers where shy about their faith, and that was something I admired. Most of them were Christians, and I often went to them for advice and words of wisdom, not just about theatre, but also about matters of the heart. I trusted their spiritual guidance.
In the fall of my junior year, the administration at Shorter University implemented new policies that required faculty to sign two documents called the "Personal Lifestyle Statement" and the "Statement of Faith." Now, I've read the Statement of Faith, and agree with what it says. It's pretty sound Christian doctrine. But do I believe that a good, competent professor has to be a Christian in order to teach me well? No. I also don't believe that just because a professor calls himself a Christian, it makes him a good, competent teacher. But more on that later.
So, as I was saying, "Statement of Faith," okay, cool, I can get behind that. I mean, this is a private Baptist school, they have every right to publicly state what they believe and expect of their employees. But I didn't think it was necessary. I never had, or heard of, any teachers at my school who were opposed to or disrespectful of the Christian faith. But, kudos for standing up for what you believe in. The "Personal Lifestyle Statement" is where things got messy. This document stated that employees of Shorter University will be "committed Bible believing Christians, who are dedicated to integrating biblical faith in their classes," and "active members of a local church." Again, not so bad. But wasn't this already covered in the Statement of Faith? I mean, the final point in the first document says: "We believe that Christians should be consistent with Scripture in their character and in their conduct." To me, that pretty much covers any personal lifestyle choices. But, they decided to get more specific, requiring faculty to adhere to principals of personal conduct which said: "I will not engage in the use, sale, possession, or production of illegal drugs. I reject as acceptable all sexual activity not in agreement with the Bible, including, but not limited to, premarital sex, adultery, and homosexuality. I will not use alcoholic beverages in the presence of students … or in settings in which students are likely to be present." This is what caused all the controversy. These few sentences are what I, and many others, had a problem with.
Why did they pick these specific offenses? Why not include gossip? And covetousness? If these two things were as frowned upon in the Baptist church as homosexuality is, there would be many more people rejected by the church. Which is sad. And it wasn't like students were out getting drunk with their professors, or that we had any Walter White's teaching chemistry. Many teachers felt that if they signed this document, regardless of whether or not they personally participated in these activities, that they would be rejecting their students who did. Because let's be honest, just because it's a Southern Baptist school, it does not mean that students aren't gay, or having premarital sex, or drinking and doing drugs. And even though students weren't required to sign anything like this, it kind of felt that way. Many students, including many of my close friends, no longer felt welcome at Shorter University.
There were protests. There was press coverage. There were numerous articles written about this close-minded institution. There were bomb threats for crying out loud. And yet the administration stood by their choices. They were steadfast under persecution. Even with the threat of excellent teachers and a good chunk of the student body leaving. Even when I sat in my president's office, crying, trying to articulate my side of the story. The side of the story that no one really heard. The story that included students who were hurt and disappointed by a place they used to call home. Students that weren't sure what they believed in, but now they know for sure that they don't want to believe in a God that would be intolerant and unloving. The God that Shorter claimed. The God that I claimed. That is what hurt me most of all. Watching my dear friends reject a life with Christ because they felt rejected by Christians. And when I finally had the courage to voice these concerns to the president of the university, all I got in response was, "I'll pray for you."
I was so confused. I seriously began questioning my faith. I was raised in a Christian home and taught that followers of Christ were to live in a certain way. A lifestyle of love, humility, and acceptance, not just following the rules of religion. I did a lot of searching and praying. And no matter how much I fought and cried and questioned, God was always there. I spent the next summer working with World Changers, and God used my pain for good. I am a firm believer that God uses those who are broken. As Christians we have to be transparent. We are not perfect human beings, but we are made perfect through Christ's gift of grace. What kind of witnesses are we if we act like we're better than those who don't believe, or that we don't struggle and fall into temptation? Christ covers our sin, that's the whole point! And then Luke 10:2 comes in. "The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few." That's when I knew that God would use my brokenness to reach those who are lost. I knew He created me for something bigger.
Fast-forward to senior year. Many of my friends and the majority of the teachers and students in the fine arts departments did not return to Shorter. And I continued to struggle with my faith. It didn't help that the teachers that I admired and respected for their Christian values were replaced with teachers who were proud and superior and had no compassion for what happened the year before. And they were only hired because they were okay with signing that document. It was tough to be at a school that was nothing like the place that I fell in love with and used to call home. But, through the adversity I was only motived and encouraged to move forward and live a life that I felt accurately represented Christ. I do not want to be associated with stereotypical, close-minded Christians who are more concerned with legislating morality, and less concerned with key Biblical ideas; namely love, grace, compassion and humility.
I have such an overwhelming desire to travel the world and reach these lost places and people groups who just need to see some love and compassion. And I want to do it in the name of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I need to get out of my comfort zone. Get away from the distractions of my very privileged every day life, and see how the rest of the world lives. I know my eyes will be opened and my heart will be broken. But I've never felt more certain about something in my life.
I didn't work on staff with World Changers this summer, but I did go as an adult leader on a World Changers trip with my home church a few weeks ago. The theme verse for the week was Luke 10:2. And it was the same week that I had my interview for the World Race. Funny how perfect and comforting God's timing is. 🙂
