How do you expect me to still have faith? My family died in the earthquake and I lost my home. Now I am living in a home built out of a blue Samaritans Purse tarp that is strung together with fishing line and rope. The most I own is what you see in this room and I don’t always know where my next meal is coming from, so today is my only focus. Surviving today with no family or home is the challenge. My only relief is to look out at the ocean, past all the tent homes and rubble and try to forget the chaos that waits when I turn back around. Devastation is my back door but my smile, as I sit on this American’s lap, doesn’t show hint of pain. School is my only hope for a future and even then I wonder how I can change my village, my city, and my country.
This is my everyday life and yet I still find a thirst in my soul to praise God. I look to serve the God, who in the midst of this country’s pain, can feel so far away at times. I find strength in me, from Him, to play my heart out on the bongos at church and sing at the top of my lungs. I find rest in His arms and comfort from the words he wrote to me in the biggest love story of all.
From my experience so far in Haiti, yes it is a very underdeveloped country. It is the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere and the facts are right in front of you when you drive through the streets. It is a country that has few banks (if any at all) and still two years after a massive earthquake, has buildings in piles of rubble. Yet among all this devastation there is a huge light that is being poured into the people of Haiti. After spending a few Sunday’s at the local Haitian church, it is amazing how much they pour their hearts out for Christ and seek to glorify him with their lives. As we arrived in Haiti, I was brought to tears by what I saw and thought, I can imagine how it is hard to believe the Creator is still present and working. If you just look past the surface and dig through the rubble, you will find a faith that is being magnified and a love for Christ that covers all the physical sites.
I kept listening to a song over and over during my morning quiet times with the Lord and I just want to share a few verses from the song. I have heard the song before my trip to Haiti, but I find that when I am in a new place things take on new meanings that they did before.
The song is by Lecrae and it is called Far Away.
Hopeless, I can spell it..I can smell it in the air. A lot of people wonder if you still care and are you still there, cause I lost it all..keep calling your name but do you hear my call. Are you still involved or am I left alone, I wonder the street cause I no longer have a home. My brothers all gone..my sisters all gone. My family and my friends ain’t gonna be here in the morning. You see me here mournin, they say you feel my pain. They say you went through it, say to die is to gain. But I aint gain nothing, I lost everybody, now Im losin my mind and my faith is all I got. Im still holdin on, that’s why I still pray. Feelin empty inside, I can’t make it through the day. I don’t know what else to do, I don’t know what else to say. Im talkin to ya now but I promise that you feel so far away.
